I used to be once fine with my self and my appearance and I never really cared what people thought until I met you. Until I looked in to those gorgeous eyes I knew id never be the same. Every morning I would get up and look at my self in the mirror and just be so sick with my self and every thing about me. So I would sit there 2 or 3 hours making myself look good thinking the whole time I hope I look good enough for him. Hoping he’ll see me. Hoping I might make him crazy. Wishing this would be the day he really notices me. Just wishing and wishing That I would look exactly like some thing he might want. And then id go to school. And he’d look at me the same as he did before and the day before that. No spark in his eyes that might show me I look amazing. No different smile to show I might look like he wants me to look . And then id sit there and class and think about how I could make my self look even better some other day just for him. Now I sit here thinking I wish I never met you because if I never did I wouldn’t be this way I wouldn’t have to worry about what your thinking 24/7 or what you might think about me. I still cant believe I put all the work I ever put in to my self just for some one else other then me. When really the only person I should be trying to show Im beautiful to is myself. And after I realized that I went and looked in the mirror with no make up, my hair a mess ,and in pj’s and thought.. I really am beautiful. So maybe one day he just might realize what I just did.
I used to be once fine
October 10, 2007