april 2,2009 I met austin. he was tall,very cute,and wht i looked for in a guy.we were probabley the best couple in the school. then... came the summer. Austin started acting very weird,i had'nt herd from him in seven days. on the seventh day that was all i could take. I called one of his best friends and asked him wht happened.He told me that austin hasnt been answering his phone because he wasn't sure if he wanted to be with me anymore. Ever sence that day me and austin have been on and off for the past year. I love him . more than he will ever know. He has told me that he loves me and then he'd take it back two days later. he has hurt me in many many ways. for example. hes dated me only beause his friends told him to,trying to go out with my friends,kissing girls im very close with,and breaking up with me because he thought i was cheating on him. He texted me the other day,and told me that he felt that all the times we've been on and of he feels as though he's screwed everything up." I feel like im always breakin up with you,he said" im not sure but i feel as though eaither A hes telling me this because he wants me back,or he just wants to feel like someone cares about him.I asked him if I could trust him,n he said he wants me to,but im really not sure. hes lied to me befor and i dont know if hes lieing again or not. Then i found out that this whole time hes been messing around with another girl. This isnt the first time hes doe this.I really just want to cry ,because i hate it when he makes me think he loves me,and i start to like him,then he hurts me ...again. i keep tryin to getit out of my head but i cant. i want to talk to him , but i cant because. he told me, he loves me then he loves me not. i wrote this sixteen page letter to him on day explaining to him hoe i felt.The letter started about how me and him met in the hallway.all they way to now.he said he like it because it was like our"love story." I keep a journal with me now.i've written 12 poems about him. heres one of them...Realizing what im worth,i knew our realtionship wouldnot work.Telling yu i loved you had to be my biggest mistake.Giving you my heart then watching you let it break.even if i cryed you'd never see the pain.i know that their is love for you deep inside my heart.people ask why im sencetive i say "its because he left a mark." we o longer talk,and all you do is sit there as if your heart skipped a beat. I just want you to know that you never made me weak.
he loves me,he loves me not
April 20, 2010