Wow, This Game is Bad

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Do you know the worst game ever invented? Maybe, but some of those games are so bad that very few people know of them. You probably know the game Super Mario Bros. or The Legend of Zelda. You might know Megaman 1-9 or the Final Fantasy series. You know about Donkey Kong, Tetris, and all the other great classics of the video game world. You might think you know everything there is to know about video games. But chances are you don’t.

There are many video games out there that have severe problems. Among these are Dragon’s Lair, The Wizard of Oz, Independence Day, Top Gun. There must be thousands others. Now, not all video games are like that. There are some great video games and some… well, video games this essay will focus on.

Take for example, Dragon’s Lair. It was a great game in the arcade starring Dirk the Daring, but the NES version is a lot worse. Most people can’t even get past the first room. And everything kills you. Everything. The wall kills you. I am not joking. Here’s the dumb thing. You have a life bar. It’s unimaginable in a game like this but you do. As far as anybody knows, there is only one enemy in the entire game, and those are the bats in the first room. And have you ever played a game where you couldn’t crouch if you were on the right side of the screen? Well, if you haven’t here’s your first. And I’ve only talked about the first room of this game. It is almost impossible to complete the game legally. The best video game players have only made it to room four or five.

In the second room, you have to dodge a bunch of caveman-like people throwing what looks like cans of soda at you in the strangest patterns. And those cans of soda kill you. That’s right. A rolling can of Coca-Cola apparently trips you so hard that you fall on your face and die. And if you manage to survive that then a snake comes down out of nowhere and scares you like there’s no tomorrow. And that’s as far as I’ve ever gotten.

Top Gun, a flight simulation game, is one of the most infamous games I’ve ever played. For starters, there are only four levels in the entire game. But despite the game being so short, I have only made it halfway through mission two. The game is hard. The first mission is practice for the next mission. Okay, simple enough. You destroy some planes and you’re done, right? Nope. At the end of the mission you have to land on an aircraft carrier, and I have never managed to do it. Not once. You have to be 100% accurate to have a hope of making it. And that is nearly impossible.
But the game is a little nice and only takes a life away. And you get to move on to the next mission, in which you have to destroy an enemy carrier ship, which is acceptable so long as you don’t have to land on it. But somewhere in the mission you run out of fuel an


d have to get refueled in midair. A refueling plane comes and you get control of the refueling nozzle. And the same rule applies as landing on the aircraft carrier, which you have to be 100% accurate to do it. And if you don’t make it the game lets you play on a little while longer sort of like a joke. But eventually you plummet into the water for a watery grave. And that’s as far as I got.
The list goes on and on and it would take days to go through the whole list. Eighty percent of the video games on this list are video games you haven’t probably heard of. So I’m not going to take the time to talk about each and every one. But there are some terrible ones like The Wizard of Oz, Yo Noid, Doki Doki Panic, Wally Bear and the No Gang, and Castlevania 2: Simon’s Quest. The point is, video game companies like Nintendo, Konami, and Sega need to get their heads off the pillow and their mind working to do what they get paid to do. So, if you are a video game creator, wake up, get to work, and stop reading this.

Bibliography:

Hinkle, David. "Dragon's Lair on NES Might Be the Worst Game Ever." Jotstiq.

N.p., 24 June 2009. Web. 10 Feb. 2010. <http://nintendo.joystiq.com/2009/

06/24/dragons-lair-on-nes-might-be-the-worst-game-ever/>.

JDawg007. "Top Gun." Gamefaqs. N.p., 16 June 2001. Web. 10 Feb. 2010.

<http://www.gamefaqs.com/console/nes/file/587715/10812>.





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