Confessions of a Stalker This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

     I look forward to seeing his face every morning. His gorgeous blue eyes, adorable smile, his perfect hair; you couldn’t ask for anything better. I’ve never talked to him, but I feel like I know him. You can call me a stalker, or obsessed. I know I am. This is high school; it’s okay to have fun.
It all starts before homeroom, when I see him at his locker. Then it’s time to go for a little walk down the hall. My heart starts pounding and the butterflies start fluttering. All I hope for is a brief moment of eye contact. Maybe that’s all I need to have a good day, or maybe I know that’s all that will ever happen.
I totter down the hall like I’ve never walked before. It’s difficult to be noticeable without looking like you’re trying. Time seems to slow down as I approach him - like I’m walking toward the horizon but it’s not getting any closer. He’s more magnificent than the horizon. When I’m finally parallel with his locker, my head turns and I glance his way. Will he gaze back, or just ignore the fact that he is my morning cup of coffee? Sometimes my cup is half full, and other times it’s completely empty. When I see his eyes looking into mine, the world lifts off my shoulders. My day is set. Today will be a good day.
Throughout the rest of the day, I see him a few more times. The same feelings go through my body. My day revolves around his schedule. It’s frightening, even to me. I know which stairs to go down, which halls to go through.
Does he know that I follow his every move? Does he know that he’s the most amazing thing ever to cross my path? He’s like a black cat without the bad luck. If I see him, it affects the rest of my day. He probably doesn’t even know I exist. I bet he doesn’t know my name, or where I live, let alone what grade I’m in. I always worry that I’m being too obvious. I wonder if he notices that I look at him and no one else. All of these what-ifs pulse through my head.
Now and then I want him to notice me, to ask questions, to wonder things about me - what’s her name, what’s she like, what’s her story? - like a journalist getting the juice behind a story. He probably knows more about me than I think. All my dreams could become reality if I just said something to him. But I could never do that. Me talking to him ... not a chance. There’s probably a greater chance of me having a pet dinosaur. I’ve fallen harder for this guy than a skydiver whose parachute didn’t open.
My life would basically be complete if we had a conversation. He’s way out of my league. I always talk about him. “Look how cute he looks today. I love those shoes.” What if he heard me? He probably has heard me say something about him. He has to notice me staring all the time. He has to know - how can he not? I know I would notice someone stalking me. If only I had the guts to walk up and say something to him.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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FaeNotMyName This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 21, 2013 at 1:01 pm
If you guys share eye contact every once in a while, then he knows you exist :)
chrisfree.firebolts This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 19, 2012 at 4:53 pm
You express your feelings so well, and a killer crush like this is definitely very relatable. It must have taken a lot of courage to write this. A sweet, fast read. 
The_Quiet_Girl said...
Sept. 27, 2012 at 5:56 pm
At least you're a harmless stalker....I have one who isn't so harmless lol. But I think you should talk to him; you had the courage to write this, so you might be able to work up the courage to talk to him. By the way, you're a talented writer; I truly enjoyed reading this. You have captured the feelings of many teenage girls, and it's also something I can relate to. Good job; keep writing. :)
Just_Jill said...
Feb. 20, 2012 at 5:07 pm
I believe you have put in words the feelings of many teenage girls across the nation. I loved all of the metaphors and how they strung together to make a complete story about your feelings. I definitely enjoyed reading it :)
Fakesmile said...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 7:54 pm
I loved reading this! You had a lot of guts writing about it and i just wanted to give you a congrats for that. The wording was fantastic and i hope you get the courage to talk to him too. I bet he would enjoy talking to a person as well spocken as you.
jsalyers said...
Oct. 11, 2011 at 8:42 am
This has a lot of detail and expresses your feeling very well. but you said the same thing multiple times.
RedheadAtHeart This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 19, 2011 at 9:27 pm
This is me. To a T. I feel exactly this way. Were you inside my head or something??!
Sanjana K. replied...
Oct. 11, 2011 at 8:53 pm
Yes i'm not the only one!!
Bumbleshree said...
Jun. 1, 2011 at 6:12 pm
Here's my advice: Either leave him a note WITH YOUR NAME so he knows but it's personal. Or befriend one of his friends so you two can have a closer connection. lol to "i'd have a greater chance of getting a pet diinosaur" You're not a stalker, you're a victim of the lovebug! ;D
Gracie55 said...
May 17, 2011 at 10:44 am! I would be very creeped out if i had a stalker!:/
ketchupheadwriter said...
Mar. 27, 2011 at 7:27 pm
i think its sweet.
glub123 replied...
Aug. 28, 2011 at 10:54 am
i agree, but also a little creepy.
taboomonster123 said...
Feb. 11, 2011 at 7:18 am
This is an easy read, but it is also well done. I was looking through the comments, and most people seem to be able to relate to the story... And believe me when I say "I know how you feel"- I'v ehad a crush on someone for over a year now, and he still seems to act like I'm nothing but a sister to him. I think you should try to talk to your guy- just say hi and complement him on his shoes or something.
Jerome Shaykwand said...
Feb. 2, 2011 at 8:10 pm
Looks like someone's going to turn out to be a serial killer. Good story though.
Miss_Bliss said...
Jan. 30, 2011 at 12:48 pm

This is really good - even though I've never felt this strongly about someone, you made it incredibly easy to imagine.

Here's the advice bit: Nothing's going to happen unless you do something to make it happen, so talk to him! MAKE a connection, don't just wait for one! Seriously, even though it seems like there are a million things that could go wrong, the probability of something actually going horribly wrong is incredibly slim. So take a chance!

...Obviously, you've got a lot... (more »)

Miss_Bliss replied...
Jan. 30, 2011 at 12:49 pm
Oh, oops. Didn't mean to post that twice...
Alia_Tan said...
Jan. 20, 2011 at 9:57 pm
Exactly how i felt last year!!! :D :D so glad im not alone :)
PassionHoldsMySoul said...
Jan. 20, 2011 at 2:27 pm
Nicely done! It was comfortable to read, like it was a string of thoughts out of anyone-with-a-crush's mouth.
PeetaMellark said...
Dec. 27, 2010 at 1:28 pm
LOL I thought I was the only one that felt this way about someone!!! xD xD For me it was a dude in my grade 3 years ago, and now it's a guy I met this year...Haha this is remarkable writing and it's pretty much my train of thought in story form. Thank you for sharing this story! You're a really good writer =)
i.ll_be_fine_899 said...
Dec. 17, 2010 at 2:31 pm
wowweee :DDD that was AWESOMELY written!! beautiful!!! awesome job ^^ i liked ur 'simile' bout a skydiver's parachute not working! that was cleverly coool
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