Can't Escape It.

December 8, 2009
Did you not reilize what you were doing to me?
When you yelled, it not only made me cry but it dug down so deep .
Did you think, maybe i would be affected by it later in life?
No you didn't. You kept yelling until you couldn't anymore.
Now, dad, Ive been hurt so much more then i needed to be.
The memories have stayed, and i cant control my emotions.
I cant handle anything, guess whose fault that is?
I breakdown when anyone gets the slightest bit mad.
You drank. Ok i can handle that, just dont let it make things worse.
I remember once I spilt your beer, You just kept going, im suprised you never hit me.
I remember shaking, it hasnt stopped. You've ruined my life, nothing is going right.
Ever since that last weekend, Ive been messing everything up, because you tryed to trick me.
tryed To make me think you were the good parent.
Stop filling my head with lies.
I tryed to forget everything, only to remeber the happy times.
It worked, but not long enough.
I have to seek prfetional help now.
It's all your fault.
Maybe you were raised IN a horrible enviournment, it's no excuse
To treat me like sh*t. If it hurt you so bad, then why would you do the same to me?
What about my brother, did you treat him the same?
i think you did hurt him, hes gone into a world that i think isnt right for him.
I have tryed to just smile and act like nothing happened.
But it did happen and i cant escape it.
Thanks Dad.
I don't appreciate it.

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