Fear, a noun, means a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. It can often lead a certain person's life to make them do things that will affect them, or it can enter a person's life only to be dealt with and over with. My name is Luciana and I have let fear rule all my adolescence in which drinking, drugs, and cutting overruled everything I had believed in.

Summer after fifth grade before I moved into Middle School and sixth grade there was a horrible car accident that involved my Mom and I. We were on my way to my singing classes when someone ran the red light. The whole driver side of the car was destroyed and my Mother didn't make it through the blood loss and surgery, my life changed forever.

“ Luciana get your butt out of that bed this instant!” My father slurred at me angrily.

My eyes shot open but quickly shut again by the blinding light in my room.

“What is it Daddy?” I asked wearily. While sitting up, pushing my bright red hair out of the way, and rubbing my eyes to get used to the lighting.

“What is it? WHAT IS IT?! YOU KILLED YOUR MOTHER THATS WHAT! MURDERER!” He yelled and slurred while vigorously pointing an empty beer bottle at me. “ And don't you deny it one little bit! If u didn't think that you could actually sing then we wouldn't have to go through this!”

Tears welled up in my eyes and started to silently descend down my pale cheeks.

I don't understand, why is he suddenly acting like this? Did I really kill my own mother?! Just because I thought I could sing, how selfish of me... I am a murderer and to my own mother! Now tears were cascading down my cheeks

“ Are those tears I see?!” He yelled. “Thats not right! Evan girls are supposed to be strong! Come one STOP CRYING!” Then he advanced right up to my bed and slapped me, more tears, more slaps, until finally I stopped the tears. My father backed away from my bed examining the damage he had done from afar. My face stung from the various hits to my sensitive cheek, I started wipe away all the remaining tears while thinking.

I can't believe it what happened to him? I know he is drunk but, hitting me? I really must be really worthless if my own father is hitting me.

Once he saw the tears were all wiped away and my face was dry he strode towards my bed and fiercely took my already bruised face into both his hands.

“If you ever tell anyone about what just happened, no one will ever see you another day. I will kill you. Got that nobody knows.” He snarled into my face then shoved my face away and clumsily walked out of my room.

I curled up in my bed with a few thoughts swirling through my head,

My life really has changed and now its not for the best. How am i going to go through this?!

Soon tears once again fell down my bruised and swollen cheeks as I drifted off to a dreamless sleep...