Dreams slowly drift away as if they got caught in a breeze right in front my eyes. Clueless, I canâ€™t even run to catch them. I donâ€™t want this but an unknown force is pulling me to accept. Inside me, I say no but when I prepare to say it, a yes slips out and I canâ€™t even fight back. Itâ€™s almost over, one more step and it will be. All my dreams will just disappear. I somehow donâ€™t realize how bad it is because whatâ€™s pulling me to say yes is what keeps me from realizing too much loss. Itâ€™s somehow pulling me away from reality, no, itâ€™s pulling me away from suffering, from realizing the reality. Itâ€™s also telling me to be optimistic, like this is a chance to start over, a chance to a new life, a chance to not be shy anymore; and somehow itâ€™s convincing me that I need all this. But do I really? I have all I need with me right now. Itâ€™s also telling me that Iâ€™ll have new friends, but I donâ€™t need any more, the ones I have now are irreplaceable. I remember when I thought how lucky I was, I met such great people. I was right when I thought itâ€™s too good to be true. Allâ€™s just floating on a river, while itâ€™s approaching a waterfall itâ€™s on the edge and itâ€™s all up to the damn to keep it all on the edge but will it close on time?
On th edge
October 17, 2009