On th edge

October 17, 2009
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Dreams slowly drift away as if they got caught in a breeze right in front my eyes. Clueless, I can’t even run to catch them. I don’t want this but an unknown force is pulling me to accept. Inside me, I say no but when I prepare to say it, a yes slips out and I can’t even fight back. It’s almost over, one more step and it will be. All my dreams will just disappear. I somehow don’t realize how bad it is because what’s pulling me to say yes is what keeps me from realizing too much loss. It’s somehow pulling me away from reality, no, it’s pulling me away from suffering, from realizing the reality. It’s also telling me to be optimistic, like this is a chance to start over, a chance to a new life, a chance to not be shy anymore; and somehow it’s convincing me that I need all this. But do I really? I have all I need with me right now. It’s also telling me that I’ll have new friends, but I don’t need any more, the ones I have now are irreplaceable. I remember when I thought how lucky I was, I met such great people. I was right when I thought it’s too good to be true. All’s just floating on a river, while it’s approaching a waterfall it’s on the edge and it’s all up to the damn to keep it all on the edge but will it close on time?

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