Mommy says

August 4, 2009
By Anonymous

Mommy says being a big girl is hard. I think so too. I never want to be a big girl. I want to be little. Mommy is a big girl but she wants to be little. Maybe we can be little together!

Maybe Daddy can be little too. Daddy is always gone though. Why is Daddy always gone? I asked Mommy and she says he needs some help. I told her I could help but she says he needs special help. I cried. I wanted to help Daddy!

One time Daddy came home though! I heard him downstairs. I saw him too. He looked mad and I was scared. He was screaming at Mommy and Mommy was crying. Why is she crying? Daddy was so loud now. I was covering my ears but I still heard him. Mommy cried louder too and I cried with her.

After that I didn’t see Daddy for a long time. That was good. Mommy stopped crying! She has something called a magic potion. I saw her drinking it in the kitchen and she told me that the magic potion made her happy! She always laughs now and she says weird things. But at night she cries. I can hear her.

Tomorrow is my birthday! Mommy says that I have to be a big girl. I told Mommy that I don’t want to be a big girl yet and she says that being 6 doesn’t make you a big girl. She made me promise that I will be a big girl later. I asked her if Daddy was coming and she was sad again. Did I make her sad?

Today is my birthday and I am 6 years old. Daddy didn’t come yet. Maybe he’ll be here at nighttime.

Daddy did come at nighttime! And he says he has a new friend too! She looks like a little girl but she’s really a big girl! Her name is Danielle. She is really pretty with a lot of yellow hair! She told me that when I was bigger I could have yellow hair too, but I told her I didn’t want to be a big girl.

Mommy doesn’t like Danielle. When Mommy saw her with me she got really mad. Did I do something again?

I wanted to hug Mommy so it’ll make it all better. I followed her to the kitchen and she was crying again. Daddy was there too. Where was Mommy’s potion? I asked her and Daddy laughed. Then he got mad again. Mommy looked sadder and told me to go. I cried and left.

Next time I saw Daddy was when Grandma was here. Daddy was mad again. He is always mad. I saw Grandma cry for the first time! Grandma always laughs but now she’s crying with Mommy. She’s saying funny words. Mommy was pulling me with her. She says we’re going to Uncle Jakie’s house. I asked her why but she won’t tell me.

I stayed with Uncle Jakie for a long time. Mommy said she had to do something and then she kissed me and left. I said bye too but Mommy was crying. I always made her sad.

I waited for Mommy to come home for a long time. Uncle Jakie asked me if I wanted to be with Daddy. I told him that Daddy always gets mad. Uncle Jakie never asked me that again.

Mommy never came home.

I’m seven years old now and Mom never came home. Uncle Jake says that she might not come home ever again. I asked him if I could ask him questions. He says yes and I ask him lots of questions. When I asked him where did Mom get the magic potion he told me that wasn’t a magic potion. He told me to never drink it. I cried. Mom lied to me!

They found Mom.

Uncle Jake told me that they found Mom but she’s very sick. They put her in a hospital and they only let me see her a little bit. I see her sometimes. She’s so skinny now! One time Dad was there when she was sleeping. He cried and cried. That was the first time I saw him cry.

When Uncle Jake went inside Mom’s room Dad was mad again. He was shouting like before when Mom was with me. Uncle Jake was mad too but he just told me that we were leaving. We left and Mom was still sleeping.

I’m almost 8 years old now and my mom died today. Uncle Jake told me after he cried, and he looked really upset. I cried with him and he gave me a big hug and stopped crying.

Today is my 8th birthday and Dad’s here. He’s fighting with Uncle Jake again. He talked to me for the first time in ever too. He asked me if I was Daddy’s little girl. Uncle Jake was shouting again. I told Dad no and he hit me. He hit my face really hard. Everyone was quiet after that, even Uncle Jake. He told him to get out but this time he didn’t shout it. Dad left and never came back again. Uncle Jake gave me a big hug and told me that he’s gone now.

I guess I’m a big girl now.

The author's comments:
For you, Clarissa, and you, Anthony, and all the children who endured more than they need to in their childhood. For those who experienced parents who never were parents, humans who never were humane.

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This article has 11 comments.

on Sep. 8 2009 at 8:58 pm
annkaykay2011 DIAMOND, Lansing, Michigan
75 articles 11 photos 137 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am who I am, sorry, no changes."

So sad & deep...the voice comes through strongly & my favorite line is the very last one. "I guess I'm a big girl now."

on Sep. 8 2009 at 6:11 am
livinglaughingloving SILVER, Clermont, Florida
5 articles 0 photos 15 comments
Hopefully because it looks like he's one person that actually cares

lizzie123 said...
on Sep. 7 2009 at 3:26 pm
do you think she is still liveing with her Uncle Jake?

on Sep. 7 2009 at 3:23 pm
livinglaughingloving SILVER, Clermont, Florida
5 articles 0 photos 15 comments
totally i would to

lizzie123 said...
on Sep. 7 2009 at 3:12 pm
oh, it is sad...if she wrote a book about it I would so get it

on Sep. 7 2009 at 7:03 am
livinglaughingloving SILVER, Clermont, Florida
5 articles 0 photos 15 comments
OMG! That's like so sad, but it was very well written! Sadness.....

kelsykind said...
on Sep. 4 2009 at 10:17 pm
man that gave me teers hopefully you keep her in you heart pretty gir

jorden501 said...
on Sep. 4 2009 at 8:06 pm
omg i love this story they should really rite a book

bomb4peacex said...
on Sep. 4 2009 at 6:23 pm
bomb4peacex, Nonyaaa., Nebraska
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
this is really sad. i teared up. :3

Pokoh BRONZE said...
on Sep. 2 2009 at 10:48 am
Pokoh BRONZE, St.Thomas, Other
3 articles 1 photo 4 comments
Oh my that was real good. It really touched my heart.

on Sep. 2 2009 at 10:32 am
dylonmichael GOLD, El Dorado, Kansas
10 articles 3 photos 118 comments

Favorite Quote:
i have two one is "live life as if it were your last day on earth" and two is "never make some one your everything because when they leave you you have nothing"

i teared up when i read this its a wonderful piece

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