i should have known

July 24, 2009
About three months ago, I dialed his number happily but when he picked up I hung up. Ring. I slowly pick up the phone with this weak feeling in my stomach like I had been punched in the stomach; it was my biological father. I was scared to talk to him considering the fact that I hadn’t talked to him in a year and the fact that I just hung up on him.
“Hello.” I stuttered.
“Hello! What do you need?” He said with his annoying southern accent.
“Umm…”
“Do you need something?”
“You know what I need? I need a father that calls his daughter when it’s her birthday or Christmas, or maybe just to say hi! You know someone who actually cares!”
“But I think about you all the time, I care about you so much!”
“Yeah right, do you know anything about me or even try to know me. Like let me ask you this question; what’s my favorite color?”
“Umm… I don’t know. But that’s doesn’t mean anything.”
“Ok when is my birthday?”
“That’s easy June 10th.”
“Wrong again! You don’t even know when my birthday is. That’s bad. It’s July 10th.”
“It’s your mom’s fault.” He tried saying something more but I cut him off.
“What’s my mom’s fault the fact that you don’t call or the fact that you don’t know my birthday.”
“Whatever! That stuff doesn’t matter. I know I love you and that’s all that matters.”
“Ok keep telling yourself that.”
“Why are you so mad at me?”
“Figure it out!”
Click.
I slam down the phone and run to my room. I lay down on my pillow and began to cry. My step dad walks in my room and says, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing”, I reply, “Nothing at all. My dad is being his usual self, “A TOTAL JERK!”
“It’s ok. Don’t worry about him. He is always going to be the same. I love you and that’s all that matters.”

The point of me telling that part of my life was to help you understand why I am writing this. No it’s not to show how big of a jerk my biological father is. For one it’s to show how much I wanted a relationship with my dad but also I have someone else that is and always will be there for me. I would let my biological make me feel so bad like I was never supposed to be loved or cared for. Now the whole story is different. This is me about a week ago….

My solider boy ring tone went off at about 4 or 5 pm, and the caller id says, Phillip. I thought to my self, it’s him. I don’t want to pick up the phone but I guess it won’t hurt.
“Hello!” I said kind of snotty.
Sounding happy he says, “Hey it’s your daddy!”
“You’re not my dad!”
“Emily its Phillip.”
“I know. And just like I said you’re NOT my dad.”
“What are you talking about? I am your dad.”
“No you’re not. My step dad Rob is more of a dad than you will ever be.”
“And why is that?”
“Because unlike you he cares about me and loves me.”
“I care for you and love you.”
“Yeah… ok. No you don’t.”
“But…” I interrupted him.
“Get this one thing straight you are not nor ever will measure up to Rob. You are not a nice man. All you care about is yourself. One more thing you’re not controlling my emotions anymore.”
Click.
“Good job Emmy.” My loving step dad said.
At that moment I knew he cared for me and it didn’t matter what my biological father could do to make me feel bad, I knew I had someone by my side.

The point that I am trying to get out is for one don’t let other people control your emotions because you can hurt yourself by letting it build up, and for two don’t take things as always bad because they may turn out good. Of course I have a lot of other memories and moments but this one is special because I achieved a better relationship with my step dad and that’s why I chose this particular story to tell you about.





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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

Johnnybrixthevandal said...
Sept. 7, 2009 at 1:45 am
that was good i really like the picture
 
horselvr4evr said...
Sept. 5, 2009 at 12:29 pm
thts really sad. and good for u for knowing tht someone actually does care and love you. and it dosnt matter who it is.
 
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