The Letter I Never Sent

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Dear You,

If you ever feel like asking why exactly I wrote this, don't because I don't have an answer. Sometimes in the middle of my own thoughts I think of you and it's not pleasent the way it used to be it's heartbreaking, one minute I'm remembering us together at our best moments and the next I remember something else, like when you broke my heart over and over, every time I wanted you to chase after me and tell me you messed up but you didn't, like a bad dream I can't wake up from, they say your first heartbreak is the worst but I couldn't tell you if that's proven, I'd think the second would hurt worse, or the third, maybe each one hurts a little more then the last. I know one thing is certian about all of it, Love is worth all of it, if I had to do it all over I wouldn't. Sometimes I think your gonna come back, that it's not the end, then I hate you for it because if you do come back I won't know what to do this time, dating you again would be like breaking my own heart, hurting myself by letting you hurt me.

It kills me to say that I am still hurt, I keep waiting for the day when i wake up and none of it matters anymore, a day when I won't think about one of your smiles or one of our kisses, about you at all, it's like you are a constant reminder of the fact that we had nothing in common but the fact that we really cared about eachother.

But of you wanted to call you would have, if you liked me enough i would have been introduced to your parents as your girlfriend, you would have kissed my in the halls not acted like I didn't exsist anymore.

So maybe everything I've ever thoguht is wrong, maybe the first love is the hardest and maybe your alaway going to haunt me like a beautiful dream I want to forget.

Please don't write back,

Me





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beautifuldreamer said...
Aug. 22, 2010 at 9:57 pm
Ive written something like this before; I completely relate. I like the run on sentences, they give it a rushed feel like your words are coming too fast to punctuate completely. Though i do agree with the other people: it does need a little editing. Besides that it's very relatable and well done!
 
tor10jax said...
Aug. 30, 2009 at 3:39 am
I think the run-ons are fine here because...well, I'm not sure how to explain why, but they seem to give more emotion (the naarator can't stop to think about breathing, I guess). I wouldn't recommend doing that anywhere else, though, besides poetry. I think there were a number of punctuation error and typo's. Besides for that I really liked it.
Keep writing!
 
camille_1441 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 18, 2009 at 2:13 pm
haha yeah i know I have horrible grammer, I didn't edit the peice before I submitted it...that's kinda why I only write poetry but I figured I'd send it anyway, thanks sooo much for all the feedback
 
Ramna said...
Aug. 17, 2009 at 3:48 pm
Unfortunately, you need to work on the grammar.
There are many run-on sentences.
However, it is strikingly beautiful; what you're saying and how you're saying it.
Just work on the grammar.
Great job, though.

Please read some of my works.
I'd appreciate it greatly if you commented.
Kudos.
 
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