July 22, 2009
By Anonymous

Society itself has always been more than willing to socially shun its own populous in large quantities. It’s the way things have always been and the way things will always be, whether the case be cultural differences, eclecticism, or just the way one acts, humans will always ignore other humans in spite of fear, superiority/inferiority, prejudice, and pure ignorance. As years have gone by, we, as a society have came up with different terms to coin the feelings of being shunned, living without someone caring for your well being, not having someone to relate to you, and wandering around mentally and physically without the company of others. One could wander off into a long list of words throughout the dictionary to describe the said feelings, but at the end of the day, it’s just easier to call it "Loneliness". And like so many other emotions that evolved over our time on this planet (arguably animals feel emotion too, but that’s a different topic) it has become embedded into our human psyche and to the dismay of many, loneliness is an element of our human emotions (much like the other human emotions) that cannot entirely be eliminated (as a society anyway), that said, it is better to understand the entity that is social isolation (self-inflicted or not) than let it control our daily lives.

The first thing to understand about loneliness is that there are many types and different kinds of mindsets and scenarios that can cause one to feel lonely. I narrowed down what I believe are the most common types (note that I am no expert, these are just what I think anyway). The first off, is a mental complex that causes one to think that no one understands how they feel or know what its like to go through an event that (assumingly) had quite an impact on their lives. The second complex is that one does not quite feel comfortable with the social environment around them and would wish to be by his or herself, as opposed to partaking with the people they are uneasy with. The third is one is going through mental turmoil within themselves and wish to be alone so that the current situation does not become more troublesome for the individual. Number four is when a person is just shy and unsure of his or herself. The Fifth scenario is that a large majority of individuals around you dislike you and prefer not socializing with somebody "like you". Another case is that well, you don't enjoy the company of others and prefer to be by yourself for no other reason other than the fact than that it’s a preference. The seventh scenario is that you just can't relate to individuals around you. And the eighth concerns itself with a (fictional or non-fictional) event involving you in the past, that your peers look down upon and wish to not interact with someone who they are displeased with (angry, disappointed, scared, or confused). And well, the 9th scenario is, well, you haven't found someone you get along with (yet).Of course all of these scenarios can all (unfortunately)"spill" into each other, creating intricate and confusing situation for a person, which usually leads to stress and inner turmoil within a person.

All the scenarios above (unfortunately AND fortunately) have a tendency to lead to more scenarios above that either have no effect on the individual, bother the individual, help the individual or have closure (for oneself anyway). And this is where loneliness plays a role in manipulating ones life, for better or for worse. For the standard person, one might ask why he or she is lonely and in desperation cling onto anyone who "accepts" (I.E. willing to spend time with them) them. Now this is where things get tricky, as it is common for a person to hunger for acceptance without having any knowledge about what you are and not comfortable with (morals, standards, dreams, just yourself in general) and form a risky combination. Even more common is that one who has firm beliefs in themselves and throws out his/her old morals, beliefs, and self-respect just so they can grace the once intangible light of acceptance. These have interesting results in a sense that some people find other persons that encourage their individuality and come out of it feeling like a better person, more comfortable with themselves than before, and other people find persons (or a specific person) who have no regard to ones individuality and the person will probably come out of it with low self-esteem and "lost" inside (this, sadly leads to more torment that the person is usually not prepared for). Now, not all people "throw out" themselves so they can have peers, but for those who do usually come back as a different person.

In the end, no one wishes to be lonely, but being "alone" in it isn’t bad, as long as it doesn’t mentally transfigure into something negative that you despise. Being by yourself in fact can actually be seen as a good thing, when one is alone its easier to do "soul searching" and learn a little more about yourself, which in the end is probably more important than seeking peers. As it gives an individual more guidance and you'll have more things to search for and in the end you will probably find friends you are more comfortable with that way, but one must do it for oneself, it’s just better that way. If you still find yourself being lonely, then it’s up to you about what you wish to do.

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