True Love is a Sacred Flame

March 18, 2009
By , Dawsonville, GA
'It couldn't get better than this,' I say to myself. With my boyfriend in the driver's seat.
'William,' I said briskly. 'Do you remember when we first met?' 'Yea, it was awesome huh? I can still
remember what you were wearing!' 'William,' I ask. 'Yea Hun,' William replies annoyed by the sound of
his name. 'Never mind.' Well it is October 16, 2006 and we are still fighting and I try so hard to
make him happy but, he is so stubborn. As I set down my journal I stand in front of my mirror. Only
to see a tall, brunette with nothing erotic about me! I own pants that are too tight, my chest is
too big, and I hate my hair but, William seems to really love me. I feel so blessed to have a man
like him in my life. Tomorrow will be our three years anniversary, and I am so anxious to see what
we're going to do. Ring! Ring! Ring! The noise cuts into my thoughts! 'Hey baby, I say very sweetly.
'Hey' is all I hear from an angry voice on the other line. 'How was your day?' 'I have something to
tell you, don't yell, or get angry. I had lunch with Sasha today,' William replied. 'Who is Sasha?' I
ask very calmly. 'She is that girl I told you I dated for two years.,' he said. As I sit on the
other line very silent and very still; I think to myself. 'Why is he telling me this? What is going
on that I don't know about? Why is he acting so funny?' 'Jasmine,' I hear from the phone. 'Why are
you telling me this?' I say, not really wanting to hear an answer. 'Because she wants to meet you,'
he says very swiftly. 'Why do you want me to meet your ex?' 'She is a good friend now and she wants
to meet you!' 'But, why?' 'Can you just do this for me?' 'Ok, fine, whatever, when?' I say with a
very cross attitude. 'Tomorrow' 'Ok, bye.' 'Bye,' I say as I slam down the receiver. I turn out the
lights with just a small glow from my alarm clock remaining. And as I slowly drift away, I start to
cry knowing that he set up another date on our day! The dim glow from the clock fades and before I
realize it, I'm fast asleep. I wake with Sasha on my mind. I brush my hair I am wondering what hers
looks like. As I brush my teeth, I wondering if she has a pretty smile, and as I step back and look
at what I've created myself into with all that I've done to my hair and all that I've done with my
make-up. I still can't stop myself from wondering if she is prettier than me! I sit across the table
where we always sit at in Waffle House. I am straight across from Sasha trying not to stare with
rage for what she has caused. Pleased that she is not a very pretty girl at all. She is a plump,
short woman with short, frizzy, bleach blonde roots, with brown hair, and a pig-like nose. Holding
William' hand he tells me the real reason sasha wanted to meet me. Pushing him to the floor beside
the booth calling him every name I can think of, and picturing myself briskly slamming the cup that
our waitress had brought me into the side of Sasha's head. I collect myself and head towards the
door when I hear the most outrageous words that have ever left William' mouth. ' I'm really sorry; I
will always love you.' All I can respond is, ' Ha you call this love?' It's a six-mile walk from
the restaurant to my house and I have just enough anger, and steam built up to last me twenty miles.
As I cross a street that I recognize, it's where William and I had our first kiss I stop to reminisce
about he has just thrown down the drain. Trying to control my emotions, I begin to sob, wiping the
tears off my cheeks with my hands. I can't quite control my self-pity crying. The more I think about
what just happened my tears turn from sad to angry. 'How could he? Why did he? I can't believe it,
pregnant?' I say out loud as if someone were actually there. I stand to my feet and dust my self
off, and I continue in my direction with my head held high. Throwing myself onto my satin gold
bedspread, I'm thinking of all the years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds I've wasted
on William. Then I vow to never like anyone else of the opposite sex ever again. I was doing a
marvelous job too for about six months. Then one afternoon my cousin walks in with his new
girlfriend, and she has her second to oldest son with her, she introduced him as Deke James but he
likes to be called D.J. He was so gorgeous, and I couldn't stop my self from looking at him. His
smile drove me crazy and I knew at that moment that I was going to break my vow. It has been seven
months and three weeks since William and I broke up. I have been ok these last few months. D.J has
been coming over and making me smile when no one else has been able to. It is June 1, 2007, and D.J
is so sweet. He knows all the right things to say. I set my journal down and walk towards the
bathroom when I hear someone yell, which scares me and I can't see because no lights are on and I
run straight into the bathroom door. I know right away it was D.J cause I could hear him trying not
to laugh. I start yelling at him, ' You're so mean I can't believe you think this is funny.' I sit
there so embarrassed being very thankful it's dark, so he can't see how red my face is, and I'm
waiting to hear an apology. All I hear is laughing. It has been almost five minutes, and he is still
laughing. I leave him there, and I walk down the stairs to the kitchen. Not even four seconds later
he is next to me with a very serious face trying to apologize. 'I'm really sorry Jasmine, I just
wanted to care you a little bit. I didn't know you'd run into the door.' Hearing him say this I have
to control myself from giggling. ' That was really mean.' I say with a half grin. He wraps his arms
around me, and I'm not able to say a word. I forget everything I've ever had hurt me, and everything
I've done that I regret. This is the first time in almost eight months I haven't had William run
through my head. I feel so calm and safe enclosed in his arms, I finally feel as if I'm somewhere
that I truly belong. All of that happened about two years ago. Since then, William joined the
marines, and ended up trying to avoid Sasha so he doesn't have to pay child support, but, she found
him and now he has to pay double. Sasha ended up moving back in with her mom and dad, and she had
the baby and I heard it was a girl. That's all I know about those two. Now about D.J and me we have
been together for almost three years and doing just wonderfully. D.J also propose to me on our three
year anniversary, without any hesitations I said, 'Yes, with all my heart!' I have never been more
sure of anything so much in my entire life. I feel like I'm in a d'j' vu moment as I set down my
journal. Not to give up writing but to begin a new story, with my fianc', Deke.





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