Tangled Web

February 24, 2009
By Anonymous

If I could go back for a second in time, I would wander to your eyes.
The pain you left, so deep inside me, makes me feel completely abandoned.
The touch you gave me, I feel so strong.
Like it's happening now, it cannot be long.
I know your trying to get me back.
But for you I feel I can only detach.
Let me go now.
I hate you for loving me.
Let me fret now.
You don't care anyways.
Forever is along time for someone to love, but an even longer time for someone to hate.
How could you do this to me?
How could you let her do this to me?
Abused for the sake.

I sometimes wish you would go ahead and die.
I quickly think of everything you've ever made me go through.
How could you let her do that?
You talk as though you didn't know.
You knew every second of my miserable childhood.
What did you do?
You stood back and let her unleash her demon on me.
I don't want to callus over.
I want to always remember what she did.
I want to always remember what you didn't do.
I will never forget you.
I will never allow myself to be like you.
I broke the mirror.
Now let me be.
I want this life to begin, so go away.
Don't you understand your impact is crippling?
You gave me a double life.
And now I only need one.
You sewed my eyes shut and now I must pry them open.
Do you not remember when you lied to me?
Do you not remember whats the truth?
Or is it just that your lies have compounded on each other and you can't keep them straight?
My mother's an arch angel.
You are a sensitive, easily patronized demon.
Just get out of my mind.
I hoped you the best and then you got sick.
And now you're really dying.
And I don't know what to say.
I can't let you go, but I know it's what needs to happen.
You've enveloped me into your soul.
For the day I was made, God deemed me one half of you.
Therefore half my blood is ruthless satire.
Don't you see it?
You abandoned me and then as if it could not get worse, the family did too.
My sister is my blood.
We hold each other's web together.
I love her. She hates me.
You stole my brother from me.
You fed him lies.
He tried to revolt, but you strangled him with your very existence.
I know he still loves me.
Don't take that away.
I can't help you kill yourself.
I never could.
I never would.
I will always cry the night away with the haunting voices you portrayed.
Now let your daughter fade away.

The author's comments:
When I write I try to take myself out of the situation, as if I'm peering into a different story to help me sort things logically. This was a big step for me in forgiving my father. It may not look like that by any means, but it definitely was.

I hope you will be inspired to write or partake in some form of art when the world pulls you down and you are able to release the inner demons.


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