A Will-Full Silence

February 23, 2009
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I've always enjoyed my time with Wayne, ever since I met him when I was in sixth grade. Somehow I
could relate to everything he said. Maybe it was because we were both of the same race, the same
blood. We both loved to rollerblade and we loved to play on the computer and we loved being with
each other. Could we have possibly guessed that our simple friendship would have evolved into
something more uncertain, more dangerous, and more distrustful'

We met on the asymmetrical hills of the moonlit park that evening, both wordless and thoughtful. I'd
pretended to look for stars in the October sky as to avoid looking at him, who seemed to find the
asphalt road the most interesting thing to stare at. He mumbled an incoherent greeting at me, and I
responded reluctantly with a half-hearted shrug, still refusing to glance at him.

He climbed off his orange-tinted bike and began shoving it up the grassy hill with unenthusiastic
effort and I could only follow him on my rollerblades. As we made our way past the circle of firs
that stood silently in the autumn chill, I finally turned towards Wayne and let a small, almost
painful smile grace my lips. He said nothing and I could have sworn that he hadn't seen me.

Several dozen hushed heartbeats later, we sat together on the bench that seemed to beckon us with
the lamplight it reflected. There was a considerate distance between us, as if we would be
uncomfortable if we sat any closer to each other. Gazing at the deserted playground before us, I
wrapped my thin coat tighter around myself and stole another look at the person who had clouded my
thoughts for the past few hours. Guilt liquefied my stomach and I looked away queasily, feeling like
a dishonest thief who was caught in the act.

'What'' he asked uneasily, casting an eerie look in my direction.

I shook my head and found that my parched throat was stubbornly refusing to emit any sound in his
presence. Maybe it was because I would rather listen to the nightly silence than to say anything.
Maybe I didn't want to lose the tautening inside my chest each time I caught him looking at me, or
the smile that tugged at my lips each time I thought of him, or the way my eyes mist over when I
find myself in an uncontrollable fantasy world with him as my sole companion, like this night.
Whether in reverie or in reality, I didn't want to lose the little I had with Wayne, and perhaps
neither did he.

We rose together and re-climbed the lofty hill without a single word exchanged. At the top, I turned
swiftly and looked hard and long into his eyes, and he stared back at me with just as much ardour as
I felt in my heart. In a faraway fraction of my mind, I thought that the lamplight on his face was
perhaps enchanted, because it brimmed my being with an ache so soothing that it made me want to
remain in that rift of time for all eternity and '

We tore our gazes apart and stood awkwardly in the bittersweet silence of the October night. We
parted like the chilly breeze that swam around us, quietly and serenely. Our moment, now seeming so
far away, lingered on my mind like dark chocolate on the tongue. As I skated towards home in my
acidic freedom, liquid radiance, enveloped by dreamlike lamplight, crept out from my chocolate
melancholy and slashed my heart open with the sweetest poison. My lips began to shake with a grin so
brilliant that it made me toss a glimpse to his retreating figure and yell a goodbye. Despite the
harsh twinge in my heart, I could still smile, even if I didn't know why I felt so rapturous. But
when he hollered back a farewell, I couldn't be happier.





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