Faux Diamonds

June 20, 2009
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She walked into the sanctuary of Divine Harvest Church wearing a green cashmere cardigan with faux diamond buttons and a gray pleated skirt. She was looking forward to the Jonathan Walters concert, even though he wasn’t a major gospel singer, he was still very talented. Besides, It was something good to do and she was doing it. She wanted to be taken away in the music. Music had a healing power for her and she just wanted to be taken away for a moment from her loneliness, her sadness to a temporary joy of being loved by the Father.

On her way there, she looked up to the sky and admired another one of God's painting of a beautiful sunset. "It's going to be a good night," she thought, " I can feel it."

She took her seat and waited for it to begin. She looked around the room of the small church and saw friends happily chatting and church members excitedly greeting each other as if they hadn’t seen one another in forever. She looked around her and wondered where was her love and why no one saw her. Why everyone seemed to know everyone except her. Why she seemed like the invisible ghost of the church, but before she could answer those question the praise leader took the pulpit and welcomed the guest.

“I want to thank everyone for coming out this evening,” she said. “Let’s give God a praise for what he’s done.”

The people praised.

“He’s been so good to us. The least we can do is give him a praise.”

The congregation stood praised even louder clapping and shouting. She stood and praised God too. God was everything to her. When she was alone, he was the only one who was there. When she was walking across campus, he walked beside her. When she ate lunch at the deli, God was her lunch date. When she’s studying for midterms, God was her study-buddy. It wasn’t by choice that God was her one and only but rather by some odd turn of fate. She wasn’t reclusive or apart from society, people always just seemed to be distant from her. They had their friends and she wasn’t one of them. She would have loved to have gone to the concert with someone, but it just didn’t work out that way, which is the way it works out most of the time, her just being alone.

The praise team began singing their first song and Jonathan lead the choir in “How Great Is Our God”, which was one of her favorite songs. She sang with all of her heart because God was truly great to her. The choir sang several more songs and she was quickly raptured by the music. The more they sang, the more she began to feel overwhelmed and the more her heart began to ache. She wanted nothing more at that moment than for God to reach down and scoop her off the earth and wrap her in his arms for just moment. The choir sang “The Lord Our God Is Wonderful,” which was a song that she had been sing a lot recently. It has a simple tune and ethereal melody that always seemed to make her feel better. It was when the choir started singing this song that climaxed her emotions to tears. She tried to refrain herself and maintain her composure but it seemed like everything had just come crashing down at one time. As tears ran over her sun-kissed cheeks she lifted up her hands towards heaven begging the Father to save. The choir seemed like they were acting as the soundtrack for her life at that moment, the part where the sad music comes on at the sad part of the movie.

She kept crying then Jonathan said, “ There are tears in building!”

She wasn’t sure if he was talking about her but she just kept her eyes closed toward heaven praising God and crying for deliverance. She wasn’t bawling louder than the choir or greatly distracting from other people praise but crying to herself and to God for peace.

“I want you to turn and minister to you neighbor. Someone find somebody else to minister and speak life to their soul. We need God in our lives. Someone in here needs to hear from God tonight,” Jonathan said.

The congregation scrambled to find someone to pray with. A couple of minutes later, Jonathan said, “ Someone needs to go an minister to that young lady in the green shirt.

His comment interrupted her catharsis. She then realized he was talking about her and wondered why she had picked the oddest bright green sweater to wear. She was slightly embarrassed by his calling her out but then she guessed she was probably also the only one in the room crying.

She looked and no one had moved towards her. Jonathan was still singing and people were still praying with others or just singing along. No one had even attempted to come and pray with her. No one looked her way. They seemed to have just ignored what Jonathan had said and continued with what they were doing.

She was too caught up in her own moment of tears to actually comprehend that over sixty some people had just heard what Jonathan said, looked at her, ignored her and kept worshiping God. She didn’t realize the impact of what had just happened. These so called sanctified, Holy Ghost filled people had just blown off one of God’s children. They had completely ignored a request from a man of God. Even the oh-so-attentive church mothers, had not even bothered to move her way. Was there some memo that people had gotten not to love this girl?

But Before this reality could slap in her face or knock over her already shaken emotions, a little girl who couldn’t have been any older than a 13 walker over to her, climbed into a chair, took her hands and began praying for her. The girl prayed and she kept crying. She thought that the girl felt sorry for her, and prayed for her out of pity.

She had come looking for God to bless her and to feel his love in greater way. But she only felt more ignored and unwanted than she had ever felt in her life. She had thought that at least in a church of God, she would be loved and wanted but instead she was publicly ignored and left to fend for herself. She was already in tears and this certainly didn’t help. She hadn’t come to show off or to receive people’s sympathy but she most definitely hadn’t come to feel unwanted. She hugged the little girl after she finished praying for her. And Jonathan had to publicly ask the pastor’s wife to pray for her.

“Can someone bring that young lady in the green up here,” he asked. “Pastor, she need to be ministered too,” he said to the pastor’s wife.

“How embarrassing,” she thought. “Not even the pastor’s wife wanted to pray for me.”

Jonathan practically had to beg someone to pray for her and it ended up being the pastor’s reluctant wife.

Nevertheless, she prayed with her and returned to her seat, Jonathan sang a little more.

Ironically, he sang the words, “It’s over. Your troubles are over.” Yet it seemed to her that this concert had just made her troubles worse. The pastor dismissed the service.

She picked up her purse feeling much worse than she had when she had entered the sanctuary.

“Wasn’t I supposed to feel better?” she asked herself as she walked out of the door just as unnoticed, unwanted, and unloved as she had entered.





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