Nowadays, there are a lot of people who do not want to get married, they claim that it is because they have not found a soul partner, but many people do not know what love is, or what marriage is. Therefore, there is a lot of instant love. Some people fall in love, talk for a few days, and then confirm that this person is their partner. Then they get married in a lightning-flash marriage. After a few months together, they realized it was not suitable for them and divorced. So is love just a heartbeat? In general, love brings warm attraction, representing deep and sincere feelings for people. And marriage is a legally and socially sanctioned union that prescribes the rights and duties of the partners and accords status to their offspring. After marriage, you can co-parent with your husband and have someone to talk to and rely on when you are stressed.

According to the Pew Research Center, as of 2017, 42 percent of U.S. adults live without a spouse, which is up from 39 percent in 2007. And, also according to the 2017 stats, approximately six in ten adults younger than 35, 61 percent, live without a spouse versus 56 percent from 10 years prior. According to what I said above, since all the benefits of marriage, why do not people get married? Look at the following reasons people give.

The first reason is people think they do not need marriage to legitimize their relationship. Take Leslie for example. She is a 39 years old woman and said “I do not want to get married, and I have been in a relationship with my fiancé for 10 years. I am just not interested in marriage, it is not something I want or needs to do in my life. I realize I could elope or go to City Hall, but again, marriage won’t change anything in my relationship”. However, someone will say “All love that is not for marriage is playing rascal. The law can give you an official couple identity if you are married by going to the organization to legitimize your relationship”. In their view, legitimization is necessary, so how do people validate long-term, healthy relationships? Above all, respect each other and give enough space to each other; In the next place, it is ok to fight but not to be senseless violence, if the senseless violence (cold violence) is prolonged, it will affect the relationship. In the end, if you sometimes have been feeling bored with your marriage, please add some surprises to your boring marriage, you should remember: Any relationship needs to be carefully nurtured!

The second and most important point, people think marriage will restrict their freedom and come with many rules and expectations. For instance, Kelly is a 56 years old woman, she stated “For the last nine years, I have been traveling full-time and even wrote a book about it! I have housesat in London, Gibraltar, throughout Africa, Osaka, and Kuala Lumpur. I’m now in Mexico, where I house-sit every spring. It’s a great lifestyle... and one that would be difficult if I were married. I have never been married, and have no plans to change my single, globe-trotting ways now!” At the same time, in our society if you get married, your elders will be urging you to have a baby, even more, egregious are the parents of some men who ask women to quit their jobs and serve their husbands at home. Thus, many arguments will arise with their parents. That is why many women do not want to marry now; they can live alone very well and have a high-quality life, so marriage is unnecessary.

The third reason is people have seen many bad marriage examples in their life, take Elisa for example. She is 28 years old, this is how she tells her story, she said “ I have grown up in a happy home, but with many friends who came from homes of divorce. They either lack motherly love or fatherly love, so they both want to be loved, and I think if I get divorced, it will be a bad environment for my children to grow up in. Later, I have seen many friends get cheated on like their husbands abandoned wives and children by loving the third person for the reason of going out to work. So the idea of staying with one person forever does not make sense to me. However, I fully respect the idea of marriage for people who choose to honor it, but it just seems like a title and joke to me personally”.

Therefore, marriage is a responsible word, we should respect someone’s choice who does not want to get married. I also want everyone to ask themselves before they get married what the purpose of marriage is for you. Will you regret it? A good marriage will bring you happiness, an unfortunate marriage will only bring not only pain, like an abyss, with no end in sight to the darkness. So we have to keep our eyes peeled when looking for love, and always remember that loving yourself is the most important thing.