In a Heartbeat, I'm yours again

I thought of something the other night. It struck my mind fast and hard without hesitation. This random thought made me discover something about how I felt for him.

I lied there on my bed, 10 o’ clock on a school night, just watching TV as the commercials were playing.

“Leave. Get out. We’re over.” He said simply pushing me out his front door.

I stuttered, I teared, I tried to reason, he just kept pushing me till my body was fully out. I stood out in the cool chill of the evening’s air, on the front step crying, begging him not to do this. He told me goodbye and shut the door hard, locking it behind him. Could this be?
I quickly broke down on the lonely step. I sat there with my head in my knees sobbing. My heart was trying so hard not to sink down and break. It was hard, I couldn’t rationalize what had just happened. I wanted this whole thing to be a dream, not reality.
I stayed outside that door for about 30 minutes just crying painful tears that ran down my face like an avalanche. Then… he came back! I heard the door squeak back open; hope came rushing back in me. I felt his hands wrap around me, then he picked me up in his arms with care, bringing me back into the house as I cried, breathing rapidly and so pathetically.
Some girls would have started hitting, or just yell and walk away. But I wanted to stay, I wanted him to come back and hold me tightly in his safe arms.

He took me upstairs and into his room, where he lied me down on his bed. The covers had been pulled back as if he prepared it for me. He tucked me in with a warm gentle smile and held me close as he then slipped in himself.
“I’m sorry.” He said with meaning and love. “I love you too much to ever let you go. I’ll never do it again, promise.” He continued, now stroking his hand through my hair and wiping the tears away. “Shh.. Shhh.. its alright now my love, I’m here.”
I held him back weakly. Trying to stop my silly tears, I stuttered breathlessly, “I…I Love you too.”

When I came back to reality I realized; if that were to really happen, and he would really take me back, I wouldn’t hesitate to take his love back. I’d do it in a heartbeat. I would not struggle. I wouldn’t hit, and I would not argue, I would just hold him tight and never let go, because he means so much to me. Letting him go like that without letting anything get worked through isn’t what real lovers should do. Love kept us together, why should love destroy us till the bond breaks?

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