Him

June 7, 2009
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It’s a Wednesday night. Why can’t he fall asleep? He didn’t take a nape after school, and although he did have two Diet Cokes, he had no other source of sugar or caffeine. He has one more final exam to take, and he hopes to do well on it. He has not studied much for it, but he feels as if he knows the material well. Will this be the only night he feels this way? He cannot fall asleep. Why? Last night he fell asleep almost instantly. The night before that, he dreamt. Tonight though, he cannot think of that happening. Is he stressed? Did the movie he watched affect him in some way? What has caused this situation to occur?


This does not happen regularly to him. He is not used to this. He knows he should be sleeping, but he is not tired. Does he want to be somewhere else? Is it the beach? No. This time it is not the beach. What does he want? Is he hungry? Does he want something to settle his hunger? No, he is not hungry. What does he want? Is he thirsty? Does he want another Diet Coke? No, he is not thirsty. Does he want to walk? Is he feeling anxious about the exam? No, he does not feel anxious. He wants to take the test, and he wants to achieve a good grade. He wants to leave his sophomore year of high school with a good memory.


He is frustrated. He thinks about his crush. No it is not his crush. He likes to think about his crush, but right now that does not matter to him. It is not hunger, it is not thirst, it is not anxiety, and it is not social.

It is the future. What will happen? What will happen during his junior year? What will happen during his senior year? Will he go to college? What college will he go to? Many questions arise from this one word. This one word controls him like a lion stalking its prey. It never lets go until it has what it needs. What does it need? Why cannot it leave him alone, and go bother someone else? Why does the future choose to challenge and irritate him? Him out of all people! It is him that has to deal with the fear of making a bad decision. It is him that has to watch his steps very closely. In order to get what he wants, he has to work, and work harder. Each day is a challenge, but he will have to work even harder than that. He will have to fight for what he wants. He is not the only “him” out there. There are many more; looking for the same thing. They want it too. They want to be different and unique. It is up to him to be different and unique out of the different and unique out there. He will have to show the world that he has the power and wisdom to accomplish his goals and never stop trying. He knows that sulking will not do the trick. He needs to work, and work harder. The chase will never end. Is it him that determines the future, or is it the future that determines him? He’ll never know until he accepts the future. The future will bite and scratch and never leave him alone. He will have bruises, and he will have sores, but it takes only one person to stay standing. It is the one that will overcome the future. It is the one who will look down at the future, and know what will happen next. It is the one that will lead and model for the young “hims” in the world fighting to win that place.

He will be great, and we will achieve. The future holds the many opportunities that will grant his wishes. People will know him, and he will know people. People will look up to him, and we will look up to people. At the end, he will know what he had to carry out in order to overcome that one small detail in his life. The one small detail that determines everything and anything. The future.





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