I still have flashbacks.
Even though its been five years.
Even though the memory is hidden away.
Some times I can still feel the pain.
See my life flash before my eyes again and again.
How can someone that is supposed to love you unconditionally
Turn on you so fast?
In the blink of an eye the person you trust most,
Can hurt you in ways you didn’t even know possible.
I can still hear the whimper before it happened.
Feel the tears swell up in my eyes.
How my throat closed up.
And everything around me seemed to disappear.
My sisters footsteps as she ran up the stairs.
My feet suddenly off the ground.
It haunts me in these flashbacks.
Like a little ghost.
Skeletons in my closet coming out late at night.
It’s because of these flashbacks I live my life in fear.
I’m not good enough for anyone.
No one can earn my trust.
Because of these flashbacks.
Nothing can ever be the same.
Nothing can go back to normal.
And because of these flashbacks I am not me.