Another way to live

May 20, 2009
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It was a sunny Tuesday afternoon. The whole day was totally perfect for Antonida, 12-year-old schoolgirl. It was probably the first time in the whole year that Tonia (Nickname of Antonida) has seen such a perfect day in Siberia. The sky was blue, with no cloud ruining it, the grass was greener that ever and the sun was making an amazing reflection on the ponds around the village. What made this day even greater? The birth of Tonia’s new little sister. Alia was born a few hours ago, and since then, the young teenager decided that today, 6th of June 1961 would be the best day of her life. Remembering that she had to meet up with her best friend, she headed to her favorite hill where her best friend and her used to meet-up since they were four. After ten minutes of walking and daydreaming she finally arrived at her destination. She saw Katia’s silhouette, standing up in the hill.
“ – Hey you! Yelled Tonia.
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Bonjour ! How are you? Answered her friend.
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Perfect, life is perfect, this day is so perfect, my new little sister is born… daydreamed Antonida.
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Oh god! She’s born! So it’s a she right? Asked curiously Katia.
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Yeah! A little poupsik. She is just too adorable! Boasted Tonia.
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Aren’t you sad that school is nearly ending? “
And the conversation continued on and on … The girls talked for almost an hour and then, finally decided to separate themselves, promising that they were going to re-meet soon. When she came back home, her whole family was preparing the dinner, the table and already serving. She let a smile draw on her face, not only this day was perfect but her life was. She had a mother, a father, some adorable brothers and sisters, an education and food. Maybe this wouldn’t last for a long time … Who knew?

Days passed and everything was like Tonia’s favorite day. Sunny, happy and perfect. As she said before, her life truly was perfect. She never realized how she loved her father that much. He always was there for her. Even though he had a job that required lots of work, he was always there on time for dinner, he helped her with her homework and he never favoratize the seven children’s. Not like her mother. She often had conflicts with her mother, due to her insolence, her bad grades and her philosophy of life: have fun. Her mother was a serious well-educated woman, who lived all of her life in a really poor family. Exactly like Alexander, the father. He lived in a very poor family; he had to give up his studies to help his parents. Then, he got a job, and he was quickly promoted to be the boss. Today, he was in charge of a car company that worked pretty well. On the 12th of June the pre-teenager came back home from an afternoon with Katia on the hill, she found her mother crying on the staircase.
“- Mum, mum, mum! Yelled the young girl, feeling as if the tears were coming. What’s wrong? What happened?
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It’s … your dad! She said between to gasps.
Antonida felt like if the floor was falling, even if he had a small accident, or a big one, even if he decided to leave the house (which wasn’t possible because he was in love with her mother) or just to took a break, it all had the same signification. It was her dad. Her daddy, her papetchka …
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What happened? What’s wrong? The job? What is it? Tell me! Ordered the not-so young girl.
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Car accident … Hospital … Death … Funerals … Family … was the only words that Tonia understood. As she heard these words, she made torrents of tears. Her life was degrading. The period of the perfect, sunny and happy side of life was over. It didn’t last long; nothing was long, not even life.

Tonia ruined upstairs and locked herself in her bedroom, crying all of the tears she always tried to hide when she got a 1/5 on her math test, or when her friend, Nastia decided to not be friends with her anymore because she had longer hair than her. All of that runed down her cheeks, making rivers, lakes or even oceans of tears on the floor. It was like if an international football player break his leg and couldn’t play anymore, life if a super popular singer would loose her voice because of an operation, forever. Those were the things you couldn’t get back. Like a burned photography, or a ripped book. She felt that but in a hundrents,thousands or even millions time worse. Exactly when her little brother Kolia, died of a meningithe when he was only 8 weeks old. But that was her father. She lost what made her special, the little thing that made her eyes sparkle, the person that would make her life shine everyday. You only have one father, not two. Death. The word death never passed through tonia’s mind. Death, dark and tears. Those were the word that would perfectly explain the way she felt about that. She cried the whole day and the whole night. Ignoring the reaction of her brothers and sisters, even if she knew that her father wanted her to be there for them, She knew that their reaction would make her tears double or triple. But right now, the only person that needed her was, Tonia Aleksandrevna Selivanova, in other words herself. In her her heart, there was a big hole, a hole called daddy.

After two days of crying rivers, Tonia decided that it was time to face the reality and accept that what happened couldn’t be changed. She had to move on, even if it was the hardest step of her life time. In the dining room, all of her family was sitting and starring at her, except Alia, who was not able to understand what happened.
‘ – Hi. She heard herself say.
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I’ve missed you. Yelled Kostia, hugging her.
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Me too. I’ve missed all of you. Hi mum. Whispered the young women.
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Hello sweetie. She said the eyes shining.
The silence ruled in the room and we could only hear Alia chirrup. The awkward silence went on and we could only hear the ringing of the forks and of the knifes on the plates. The mother broke the ice:
“ - Since your father, had, you know, hum, well …I’ll have to find a work.
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But, started Tamara.
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Do not interrupt me. A work means that some of you, the eldests ones will have to take care of the house, the animals and of the youngest ones. From right now, you forget about school, or hanging out with your friends. It’s family first. Dimitri, you are in charge of the animals, Tonia you would have to do the laundry, clean the house, prepare dinner and lunch and you, Kolia, you have to take care of the smaller ones. Explained the well-organized muother.
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We are NOT small! Cried a little voice from the table.
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I said no interrupting! Since you are the eldest, I guess it’s going to be a very hard work for you guys, but it’s family, so we can do it!
What is a family without a father thought Tonia? Nothing.
(…)
The only thought of being separated of her family again, made Tonia cry. Loose everything that made her special ? No way. She already lost a brother, her father and now her mother and her six brothers and sisters ? She will not let that happen. She also lost faith in god and in life. A few weeks ago, life was perfect, how can in a month everything change ? That was the main reason why she lost faith in life. The dinner was more like a family reunion. Explaining why, how and who. Everyone cried and protested. Tonia didn’t even wanted to talk about it. She knew what was her destiny now. Born, live, die. Simple as that. She went to sleep and during the night she snuk out it the smaller one’s room. She slept next to Kolia, feeling his breath and feleling her tears rolling down her face. This was the part where she was dying. No more family. No more friends. Life with strangers. She didn’t want all of that.

She fall asleap and was woken-up by her mother. She gathered the precisous things, like a shoebox full of photographs, clothes, and a letter written by her father. She walked down the stairway, with a depressive face, looking down and with huge concelears. She saw a lot of people in the lounge, she didn’t want to know who would have her propriety now. She just wanted to stay, be with her family (including dad), and be happy. She wanted to go back in time, she wanted to make her father sick so he wouldn’t go to his job that day, so he wouldn’t die, so she wouldn’t have a depression. But it was too late. They were waiting. Childrens lined up, sad faces and effort to don’t show their tears. The mum, couldn’t let that happen. She took all of her children’s and gave them a “group” hug with Alia in the middle.
“ I gave birth to you, I started your education and nothing, I say nothing will stop me to finish your education.” Everyone burst in tears. The mother kicked out the relatives, the neigbours and friends. She had a meeting with the school, they found an aragment. Everything was back to normal. That was the part of the re-birth. A new life. A new Tonia. Another way to live.





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hellotherecutiepie said...
Oct. 3, 2009 at 9:33 am
WOW ! I love this ! It's very amazing !
 
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