Just Friends ; we've all heard it - one way or another, some of us have used it - i have - some of us can't help but remember it because well thats just those words that broke our hearts FOREVER. thats me , its probably going to haunt me way worse then the five words did a long time ago. i can't help it, to just let my heart out to let you in. but i did and i can't change it. it was worse then when it was with the first heartbreak it was those words that just made me rethink all the things that i thought were going to happen.. the thing is that i don't feel stupid to have fallen for you, to have thought you were the princecharming because you gave me every sign to make me believe you'd be him. to make things worse was that you were my third grade , my elementary. you were even my monday nights and now i can't even go to the district park because every where i look , we were once there. we either laughed, walked, even took pictures some where on that park. but i wont blame you, sure your the reason i can't fall asleep at night, your even the reason i have a hard time talking to my own best friend and your even the reason i can't look at my yearbook anymore. but i won't blame you because blaming would only make that phrase harder and harder to think about. you told me take my time, keep thinking about whether id accept you as my friend again but the thing is that i don't know if i'll ever accept you as just a friend again because that night when you asked me out my heart did this 360 thing that it never did before, my head and my heart finally agreed, and i couldn't sleep that night - not because i was sad - because i couldn't believe that for that moment my heaven, imagination, and life all came together. so i'll accept it , like i always have accepted all the other break ups. i just think this ones going to much harder to get over then the last ones were.
May 13, 2009