I Want to Be Friends

Every girl has heard the famous line, "I still wanna be friends." Every guy says it, and when they do, it sounds sincere. You hope that you'll still speak, that you can still hang out like you always did, that you can pretend like the break-up never even happened. Eighty percent of the time, you're not even friends anymore. You cry for weeks, you read old text messages and emails that you said to each other, you reluctantly take them off your top friends on MySpace, and you delete them off speed dial. It's hard, but things happen.

When I was a seventh-grader in Middle School, I was definitely not in the popular crowd, thats for sure. I had a good amount of friends, and had a lot of fun, and I'd never had a boyfriend.
Winter rolled around, and I decided to be a wrestling manager. I got to touch dirty old shoes, stained sweatshirts and sweatpants and the nasty spandex singlets. I met this boy named Sean. He was in sixth grade, but I thought he was absolutely amazing. I didn't even hardly speak to him, but I wanted him to be my first boyfriend, and I was determined.
My best friend, Paige, talked to him for me, and he was happy to know I liked him. The next day, December fifth, when I was walking out in the hall to go meet my mom when practice got over, he stopped me.
"Do you want to go out with me?" He said, blushing.
He wasn't the only one blushing, because I smiled and whispered, "yes." And ran out as fast as I could.
The next few weeks went by quickly. My mom was overjoyed that I was dating such a nice boy (she was friends with his family) and basically let me hang out with him whenever I wanted.
The first time he kissed me, we were at the movies. Sitting there holding hands, he was too nervous to ask me. Grabbing his phone, a text popped up on my phone. "Can I kiss u?" It said in black letters.
My hand got sweaty and I became nervous, but my first kiss was perfect. I was the happiest girl alive.
Two months later, he came over for Valentine's Day. He bought me a fake rose, saying that he wanted it to last forever, and a bear with a sweater that said "Happy Valetines Day." The best part was, "Valentines" was spelled wrong. I loved it. The card even said, in huge letters, "I LOVE YOU."
We spent tons of time together, almost every weekend, and I couldn't see myself not being with him. I knew I was in love.
Around April, things started getting weird. When I would explain to him how much I loved him, he didn't have much to say in response. When we hung out, he didn't even kiss me when he said goodbye. I didn't worry about it, because I was head over heels.
One day at school, my friend Maddie heard a rumor that we'd broken up. Suddenly becoming nervous, I told her she was crazy and went back to my conversation with my friends.
That same night, I was texting Sean, when the subject came up. He told me to call him.
"Hey!" I said, happy to hear his voice.
"Hi," He replied.
"Whats up?" I paced around my room like I always did on the phone.
He cut me off and spoke quickly, "I want to be friends."
Hearing this, I stopped walking, my heart dropping into my stomach. Was he serious? It had been five months, and I was absolutely crazy for this boy. My head started spinning.
"What?" My voice quivered.
"I don't know...our relationship is getting boring."
The rest of the conversation was a blur, my eyes tearing and my voice cracking. I said my goodbye, then ran into my moms room and collapsed on her bed, tears streaming down my face.
The process of getting over him was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, but its been about two and a half years since it happened, and I'm bigger now. I will still always have a special place in my heart for him, always. We never really spoke again. We wave hello when we see each other, and I see him around, but thats the extent of it. He has a new girlfriend that he loves, and I have had my fair share of boyfriends since him.
The other night, a text popped up on my phone. FROM: SEAN.
My eyes glued to the screen, and I opened it up. "Hey, it's Sean, whats your brothers number?"
I gave him the number, and expected the conversation to be over. Instead, "How have you been, Taylor? It's been a long time."

It sure has, Sean, it sure has.





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