I don't know where my money goes when I get it. I get paid on thursdays and it seems like on Monday I never have anything left. It's the one dollar bills and fives and change that get spent the fastest. As soon as I break that first twenty I always know it will be gone within the course of the day. It's so easy to just be like oh yeah that's cheap I can pay for it with this single bill. You do that so many times and then within a few days you're destitute until the next thursday rolls around. It's the worst on weeks where Shur Fine, the grocery store I work for, doesn't give me hardly any hours and I on'y make thirty or forty dollars. Then there is nothing to put in the bank and it's hard to even go out with friends or do anything fun. I'm only a teenager but I still have things to pay for. Car insurance and gasoline arne't cheap. Sometimes it seems like I won't be able to make payments. I can't imagine being one of those people that works at a little grocery store for minimum wage their whole lives. I would be so bored and so poor that I would go insane. I also can't imagine being one of those teenagers who doesn't have a job and just gets all their money from mommy and daddy. I have too much pride to be like that. I wonder how people justify just sitting around and not looking for some way to establish their independence and then accepting they money that thier parents give to them. At times it feels like my job is the only independence I have. Other times I would love to lean on my mom but, even though she's one of the strongest people I know, I feel like my weight would crush her. I know one girl that's seventeen years old and refuses to get her driver's permit because then she'll have to get her license which means she'll have to get a job. It just doesn't make the first bit of sense to me.
March 31, 2009