A Tutorial in 4D Chess | Teen Ink

A Tutorial in 4D Chess

April 9, 2019
By Doctor-Gonzo SILVER, San Pedro, California
Doctor-Gonzo SILVER, San Pedro, California
8 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When the going gets weird the weird turn pro." Hunter S. Thompson


There is a game that is so advanced that only a select few can master. A game so complicated it drives men to madness. Not even Einstein, Hawking, or the meth head down my street who forgot how to read can play it properly. This game is 4D chess. The only men who have been able to play it properly are Elon Musk and Logan Paul.

Now a huge part of 4D chess is the psychological element of trickery, specifically, the tricking of a very large, very gullible, group of people. And Elon and Logan have done that perfectly. In Elons case he just wanted more power over his company, but in Logan’s case he just wanted to mess with people. I respect both reasons. Now for his 4D chess play Elon Musk, head of SpaceX, went onto the Joe Rogan Podcast and about halfway through he smoked a blunt on camera. And people went nuts.

Everyone on the news was bringing attention to the fact that this man of science would stoop to such a level, everyone basically wanted him to go in the time out corner. But little did anyone know, that outrage was Elon’s check mate. The entire reason he had smoked in the first place was to spark an outrage so that people would let go of their SpaceX stocks, granting Elon more influence over his company by taking the stocks. Now that is an example of a man who used 4D chess to better himself, now let’s talk about the guy who just wanted to mess with people.

YouTuber Logan Paul who is probably best known as “That guy who recorded a dead body in the Japanese Suicide Forest” decided to make a documentary. Oh, but not just any documentary, this was about proving the flat earth theory. A little background on Logan Paul before I continue, absolutely no one in the YouTube community likes him. Like at all. Anyway’s the documentary comes out and every popular YouTuber on Earth crucified him for it.

For a good while everyone who had any kind of large fanbase was making some kind of video calling him an idiot, ignorant, and pretty much just insulting him. But do you want to know something funny about Mr. Paul’s documentary? It was all fake. Yep, the entire thing was scripted and everyone bought it hook, line, and flat sinker. I mean how could you believe it was real you idiots? The man has his friend drive a car off a beach ball saying that if the earth is round then you’d fall off. Then he pops it and says because the earth is flat then you wouldn’t be able to fall off. The end is Logan completely losing his mind after his friend admits that he had been lying about being a flat earther after Logan has become one himself and even fallen in love with another flat earther.

I mean, people are stupid man. I can get how Elon was able to trick the general public because everyone just accepts stuff they see on the news as the word of god. But come on! Logan Paul was able to trick an entire social media platform full of people that hate him and think he’s stupid and the scum of the earth. Now that’s how you play 4D chess.


The author's comments:

What if two guys were on the moon and one killed the other with a rock. That would be messed up wouldn't it?


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