Dilemma | Teen Ink


November 29, 2015
By 26Letters GOLD, Salt Lake City, Utah
26Letters GOLD, Salt Lake City, Utah
19 articles 23 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"People generally see what they look for, and hear what they listen for."

One thing you must know about me before you read this: I like science. A lot.


Truth is, if I wasn't set on writing, I'd be fully invested in trying to make some new discovery about the properties of class O stars or making observations of the planet Kepler 452-b. By now, I should have already mapped out a plan for the perfect astrophysics career to ensure my future. But I haven't. All I can say is that it feels wrong. I get really excited talking about stars. That's always fun. And I love understanding some deep physics concept that shows me the way the universe is thinking. That's exciting. But it feels wrong.


For some reason, I always come back to writing. Even when I hate writing and I don't think it's fun and I just want to start an entire storyline over again, I come back to my laptop and start scribbling in notes on how frustration fills my blood with fire. When I think of unwinding after a hard day, I think of reading with a cup of hot coco and a good long book that makes me forget that I am a person in the real world with some big decisons ahead. Even when I'm looking at the stars through my telescope, I try to find the words that describe the wonder we all feel when we look up.


I guess it's this feeling that leads me to these crosshairs. I could pursue a career in astrophysics or astronomy, but it would never feel right to me. The world needs astronomers and astrophysicists. What the world doesn't need is another graduate with a degree in English literature searching for a job that isn't a teaching one.


So sure, I may love science a lot, and it would pay incredibly well. I would sit comfortably for the rest of my life with a salary like that. But it would never feel right. Even when I'm looking at the SAT majors list, I see the astronomy and physics options. I remember their numbers. And I write down the numbers for the English option.


Maybe I'll get lucky. Maybe I'll find a nice job as a publisher or an editor. Or, more likely, I'll be scribbling down little stories on the side of my paper between math problems while calculating the mass of a star hundreds of thousands of light years away, wondering about what I could have accomplished had I taken a chance at what I really wanted.

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