John Oliver Reveals New Breakfast Cereal Line “Fascism Flakes”

April 24, 2018
By TorcherCharlie_ACS SILVER, Longmont, Colorado
TorcherCharlie_ACS SILVER, Longmont, Colorado
6 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Oh, you can't help that. Most everyone's mad here.
[laughs maniacally; starts to disappear]
You may have noticed that I'm not all there myself."
- Cheshire Cat, 1951


First late night comedy, now early morning energy.

Popular “Last Week Tonight” host John Oliver has partnered with the General Mills
to release a new line of cereals, “Fascism Flakes.”
Oliver’s decision comes in the wake of the first year of Donald J. Trump’s presidency.
We sat down with the comedian to get a grip on why he made the sudden market jump.

“Breakfast is such a calm, casual happening, I figured why not make use of another avenue to bash the integrity of our president?” Now when you’re eating breakfast with your family, you can wash down another unwarranted and awkward political family conversation with your glass of OJ!”

Oliver has  several plans to promote the cereal.
“I want to bring a bunch of boxes to hand out to protestors, imagine the effect a bunch of pissed teenagers could have marching on the capital hurling and waving boxes of essentially rebranded Corn Flakes! It’s a surefire way to get the attention of Trump and other politicians alike. You may have been able to ignore (or attempt to run over) protesters in the past, but I highly doubt Washington can now.”

Oliver wants to expand the line in the future as well.
“ I know that the original Fascism Flakes won’t please everyone in the crowd, so we want to create several flavors to appeal to a wider demographic. We’re taking suggestions for flavors and flavor names that can help us appeal to the minority populations, the LGBTQ+ community, and even Dog and Cat food brands down the line!”

While Oliver’s decision materialized in a drunken bender following an episode of “Last Week”, we’re excited to see how his endeavor goes, and what effects it might have on our current political climate.



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