Phony Rules and Fake People

March 19, 2009
By Anonymous

From the beginning of my school career, my mom stressed how I going to a new school for my high school years. Over and over again I expressed how I was not going, and there was no way that I would ever come. During my freshmen year, my mother made me fill out the application for the new school. And because I did not want to go, I did not try to say good things about myself. Later, she made me come visit the school, to take the SSAT test, to see if my scores were good enough to get into the school. When the results came in, I passed, but that did not stop her.

The next summer, I began to pack my life away. I was extremely mad, because I did not want to start a new life. I had everything I ever wanted at home, tons of wonderful friends, and a serious boyfriend. My boyfriend and I had dated for over a year, when I had to move to another state, and he had become my best friend.

When I got here, everything looked fake, from the people, buildings, to the odd looking food in the dining hall. Nothing seemed my element. I was used to having my own schedule and making my own choices, but now it was switched, I was no longer in control. So I had to test the system. Each day was the same things over and over again, wake up at 6:30 am, eat breakfast, put on uniform, get ready, class, practice, eat dinner, CQ, then bed. I hate the same thing over and over again, so I had to press the rules. I hate a structured schedule with millions of phony rules. So it was time for me change my way of life.

Four months into my life at school, my boyfriend and I broke up. I was not able to see him like we had before, because of the distance between us, and the change in my life. He was my best friend, and it was hard for me to end the relationship. I went through countless changes, going from the shy/quiet type, toward wild/loud. The changes that happened shadowed my personality and well-being. The weekend after Christmas break, there were inflatables set up in the gym. Being bored, I needed to look for something new. I found a few new friends on my journey around campus. They were drinking and asked if I wanted to join. Young, naive, and desperate, I decided to drink; also my friend did. Still having my shy personality, I only drank a small amount, and let the others have the rest. I was feeling normal. My friend was screaming and running around, and I could not control her. No one could. The same night, I drove my car to my grandma’s house. Around 4:00 am, I received a call from my counselor saying that, we had been caught. The person I thought was my best friend had told on all the people involved. And she was in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, getting her stomach pumped. My world stopped revolving around me, and I didn’t know what to do next. In the same second tears filled my eyes then poured down my body with shame. Nothing was right; my life was wrong. And I felt that I was the problem for my friends’ condition.

The next morning, just four hours after the call from my counselor, I had to come into school and write a statement about the night before. The tears still filled my eyes from shame. The next part of my night consisted of going to the health center, to be tested for drugs.
Later that week each of us faced the advisory board. It was the worst experience of my life. I sat at the end of a large table, with twenty adults around and two students. Each person was glaring; I could see the disappointment, swell their bodies. The person, who I disappointed the most from this meeting, was my Spanish teacher. In class I was his favorite person, and he was truly saddened with my actions.

After the meeting, I received the information that I would be getting three weeks cit-pro. My test results had come back negative, and I had blown a zero on the breathalyzer, yet I still received the same punishment as the rest of the people involved; because I had admitted to doing it, and not discouraged them from drinking.

Each day I review my mistake this night, although my best friend came out of the hospital healthy, I still feel that I did not protect her. My father still does not talk to me, because he says I ruined the “family name,” and teachers sometimes look the other way when they see my name tag. My life has made a 180 degree turn. Things have improved. The majority of the people, whom knew about my incident, have graduated, and the others that are still at school, have began to see other things in me. Although I am not sure my father could ever forgive me, because we still have not spoke.

My journey to school has taken me places I would have never gone if I was at home. I have met some of the most incredible people. The experiences that I have had at school are something that I could have never encountered if I were at home. Each day I thank my mom, for forcing me to come to this new school. I do not know if I could ever thank her enough for this opportunity.

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