“Why is she sitting alone.”
“Why is she so quiet?”
“What’s wrong with her?”
There are so many people who either hear those words on a daily base, or it’s spoken behind their back.. They get distant because they know based on societies being, you try to ‘join in’ and not ‘fit in’ your application, gets declined. The ones who are popular or the one’s well known etc the list goes on, those are the ones who stick to the same cliques or groups. Not all of them are bad it’s just the phase of how you feel when around them.
The thing about being insecure is what usually kills others when it comes to the public thing, afraid that you’ll get judged, thinking that no one will take part in what they say, that it would be like the days they originally sit by themselves shut out except it would be with even more glares. Sometimes as you watch the crowds around you; you start to realize maybe it’s good that you’re not ‘one of those’ because they stand out too much or they’re just not who you are. It’s not based on their personalities or how they act it’s the phases you see.There are also points where you start to see, being the one everyone notices, can sometimes be a good thing once you overlook the worries and paranoia.
Sometimes you just have to be the solo one in the crowd, it’s something you can control but when it comes to the mind, you follow your instinct and get a better seeing. There are people who can easily jump into society, the being of conversation and even a basic introduction and then there the ones who fear rejection and being put down. You get judged over the most basic and small things, some things you just can’t control and the other things, it’s just you being you and it’s something some people decide they don’t see as ‘their type and eventually you see that that’s okay. You may want to be accepted in the crowd but you want to make sure you’re accepted in the right crowd. The crowds that encourage you to say something even if so random, that let a second length of silence fall before creating another conversation, the ones who make it known that they don’t want you to feel like the ‘bad’ outcast.
The thing in high schools that usually split everyone;cliques.They grow throughout the days and week, others, they form in an instant. It can be based off a sport, off who knows who even based on what you wear but there are not a lot that are formed based off of who YOU truly are. It doesn’t matter what type of clique it is, there is gonna be a point when you’re in it and see that one thing that splits every other person, but that doesn’t mean it should have that effect on you.
In Society, no matter how many times you find yourself saying “It’s easier said than done.” you cannot fear it, you’re name will get talked on, you’ll earn this ‘reputation’ that you didn’t realize you had or you’ll see the many different treatments any individual will get based off themselves. It takes a while to realize but.. Every day, any hour, anywhere you go, as long as you are alive and breathing, you’re going to get pointed out and will stand out around everyone, it may feel like the absolute worst thing or it may make you feel ‘special’ but no matter how or what you’re seen as you can’t let another individual who is just like you, decide where you stand. When I say “Letting another individual.” I just mean that. There are only a few things that make people different and it’s pretty much the little basic statics minus the little things we can’t change, so why try to change because if you take away those few things, we all would be looking at your own reflection pretty much.
An Outcast.. Saying you can change but don’t see why you should, good thoughts or bad, looking for perfection? You won’t find it, looking for judgementals, it’s all around you, rather you realize it or not, you can have that one best friend and they will still find something to judge about you or your surroundings and you do the exact same, so why judge what can’t and shouldn’t be changed. Find the real you and realize, the world is biased, don’t make decisions or make another version of yourself that you know isn’t right.