We all have them. It wouldn't matter if the most flawless person in the world was told how flawless he/she was by everyone. That person woul still find a single thing wrong with them. Each and every single day we face these insecurities. We all have a place or a moment where we come face-to-face with them. My most vulnerable, yet comfterable place where I come face-to-face with my insecurities is in the shower. When it's my body hair, bruises, scars, the bumps on my skin, stretch marks, or the faded parts of my skin. It all just reminds me of how imperfect I am. I grab the soap and rub it on my hands to make them both soapy. As I start to rub the soap on myself, I feel the stretch marks and the bumps on my skin. I trace these imperfections slowly, staring blankly at nothing, I don't really think much of it except, 'Why the hell are these on me?' and 'How do I get them off of my body?'. I continue to wash myself after that and I forgot that I had hair on my body until I started to rub the soap on my legs and my arms. Then I looked at my torso and saw hair there too. I hated it because I got bullied a lot for it and because of that, I just didn't like having body hair on me. Usually I always shave it off when I get the chance, but sometimes I don't. I looked down at my feet and cringe like I always do. I hated my feet. I have uneven toes and that always bothered me, I always wore socks to hide them. I see all of these imperfections and just don't like them at all. They make me want to cover it all up. Even now, I still sometimes do that. But overtime, I've learned to love them and I'm still learning to love all of my imperfections because they're what makes me, me.
September 23, 2017