My First Time

March 3, 2009
By Anonymous

Tick, tick, tick, tick. I'm counting the seconds. Tick, tick tick, tick. The clock echoes loudly. My heart is pressing against my chest. I can't stand it. Tick, tick, chirp. The screen of my phone lights up, shining into my heart. I pick it up and there's his name, illuminated like a message from heaven.

"I love you Sammy-chan." My breath catches and my heart stops. I can't breath. My heart will explode.

"I love you too baby." Its all I can type. Its all I can think. Its everything I feel. There's a weight on my chest. It hurts, but its such a hurt. Its like the weight of a baby on you hurts, or a kitten's claws. I never want it to end. I wanna freeze this moment.

"You have no idea how happy that made me feel." But I do. I feel it. In every inch of me. My skin is tingling. My hands tremble. Something's coursing through me. Its unreal, unearthly. Its like cold fire. It makes my hairs stand on end. My throat is dry.

"You're my first real love. I get that now. Tell me this isn't a dream." It feels like a dream. I'm floating. I'm flying. My heart is soaring.

"Its not a dream," he reassures me. He knows how I feel. He feels it too. His heart aches like mine. We're together in this, connected on an impossible level. Its real, so real it scares me.

"I never thought I'd feel this way." But I do now, and now I know. Love does exist. If it didn't what is this feeling?

The author's comments:
I wrote this piece texting with my first boyfriend. Some of the dialogue is paraphrased but this is what really happened, and this is what I was really feeling.

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