The Dawn of Reality <3

February 3, 2009
When one of my friend's father passed away, it was expected. He was a heart patient who had recently been discovered with cancer. As much as we wished and prayed, his death was inevitable. And with it, her life spiraled out of control. I scold her sometimes, as to what she's done and may still be doing, but I can understand how hard it is for her to cope with life when her only family support has dwindled away into the above, leaving her nothing but tears to cry.

I am harsh when I tell her to stop doing all the wrong things she does, but I know better than to scold her, because I would never be able to survive in her state. Never. I'm sure of it.

But when today, coming home from a fun day at the college lab course with all these stories to talk about, hearing that one of my uncle's passed away was the last thing I'd expect.

My mother came into my room, asking me if I knew he'd passed away today and I stared at her, unbelieveing, because for that moment as tears formed in my eyes, I wondered, I almost wondered if it were joke. The irony of its timing, the irony of the truth that any of us, even you or I can die any moment, God can take our breath away at will without any reason, without us doing what we want to do in our lives.

It can happen now, at any moment, that I may not take the next breath...But each breath is another chance to live another chance to make up for all the things I may have done wrong another chance to do the right thing. Each breath a reminder that this life is temporary, that this life will never last forever.

My uncle was one of the friendliest people you could ever meet. So kind, so sweet so nice, and even in old age, when he was rather sick when we visited him back in Summer vacation, he treated me like he always had, being my "Court Judge" against the crimes my father commited against me.

Joking that he'd lock up daddy in the bathroom for scolding me for no reasn or that we'd leave daddy home when we went shopping because he didn't let me watch tv on day. He was my judge, one of the many comedical mediams between me and father, and he was special to me in that way.

Always laughing, always smiling, always ready to hear my childish complaints and put a smile on my face. I still dont believe he's gone, but I pray to Allah that he has led a life worth Heaven and that Allah blesses him and frees him of any sins he may have committed.

Sometimes you don't realize the fragile significance of your own life until something so unexpected hits you in the face. I pray for their family to recover from the shock, I pray for him to pass God's judgement and I pray that something like this may never have to jolt me from my peaceful slumber on this earth.

Any day now someone else dear to me to could be take away.
Any second someone else could pass off into their grave.

But we dont' realize these things until we are hit with them in face. I didn't realize how precious my life is, and some days I go to sleep thinking, "heck whatever I'll do it tomorrow," but I know I shouldn't.

Heck, My father could be next. Or my mother. Or my brother even Only God knows who is die next and when.

And that scares me because I know I haven't done much to be accomplished for. I mean, I've done many good things, but I've also done things I wish weren't there and there are many things I wish I did....

If I were to die today, I fear that three might be chance God would be angry with my deeds, you know? I fear that I've done stuff that could keep me away from heaven....or I haven't done as much good as I'm capable of doing in a day. I mean, in Islam respect of your parents is the biggest factor in life. And my mother... I've done nothing to make her proud of me and her together as mother daughter. And I'm trying, but I don't want to die until I accomplish it. I don't want to die until I know that she is happy with me as her daughter....

And for you all....

The next time you push something away for later, remember at there might never be that later

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