Killer Slope

January 16, 2009
By Paige Knowles, Bountiful, UT

Are you drifting off to sleep in all those boring classes in school? Are you annoyed of always having to require intelligence to achieve suitable grades? Everyone is always telling you to be as smart as you can. Are you sick of it yet? Is your brain swarming with to many vile questions? Not any more. For once in your life you don’t have to be smart. I’m telling you that the best kind of grade is the score you get from having ultimate fun. That’s what matters most in life. Life is to short to skip fun. So if something is boring what should you do? If you’re smart you’ll be stupid!
When I was seven years old, my Dad drove my younger brother, my two older sisters and me up to Eagle Wood Golf course. Man, that is the place to sled if you want to end your life early. The hill slants at a most terrifying angle of 60-degrees! YIKES! Cardin was only four at the time and he decided to choose life. I was a completely different story. It’s no wonder my sisters always refer to me as “the stupid one” .

On the way up my father pointed out the snow boarding practice slopes and told us to beware. We watched as a snowboarder shot off, flew 15 feet in the air, flipped backwards, and landed perfectly (If he was being judged by landing head first in the snow). Didn’t look too inviting, but I still wondered what would happen to us if we went off that jump. Excitement broiled just beneath my skin. Luckily my brain overpowered my thrill issue… for now.
Once at the summit, my sisters and I formed into a line from oldest to youngest. Corinne led the way with me in back. We looked like three little ducks waddling past the jumps to a nice clear spot. I looked down the 2-mile hill. This was my kind of sport all right. The first ride was that perfect piece of chocolate gushing in your mouth that you don’t want to dissolve away. Unfortunately for me though that ride ended all to soon. Then came the hard part. Time to climb back up “Everest”. At least now I knew it was worth it. We spent all day repeating this same routine. We had sled loads of fun.
After the most exciting day of rolling off my sled and having races with the family, my dad decided it was time to return home. Despite our tomato noses and steel fingers, my older sisters and me were reluctant to leave. In the end we decided to go down one last time. My dad started to head back to our paper clip sized mini van in the distance with my brother.
To save what time we had left, ever so slowly we picked the steepest spot of the entire golf course and headed up. We agreed that we would go down in a sideways train. When we all sat down I was in-between my sisters with the oldest red head Corinne to my right and blonde Adrienne to my left. A ways away over past Adrienne my eyes happened to glimpse a small jump. I didn’t expect us to hit it but I bit my lip nervously. If we did go off, it might be even fun. So I kept my jaw glued closed. My maniac sisters who never seem to keep their yappers shut had nothing to say also. Most likely we had all seen the jump but didn’t mention it for fear of being called a wimp. It was too late now too let my mind do the talking.
We had pushed off and were headed down the course. That was pure idiocy. We were diving down at least 50 miles per hour and still speeding up! I weighed so little that I caught air at one point. My stomach was no longer in my belly and the sudden change of altitude made my ears pop. All I could hear was the roaring wind of a hurricane. I opened my mouth to scream but nothing would come out. The chilly air was only being blasted right back in along with a mouthful of crystal snow. (Let’s hope it wasn’t yellow!) As the sun reflected off the snow I had to blink constantly to see where I was going. (That’s when I learned that people didn’t just wear sunglasses to look cool.) It turns out we were headed straight for the (not so little any more) snowboard jump! We were grasping on to each other’s slippery sleds with all of the strength and ability we had left inside of our scrawny little bodies. With our world record speed and all our air resistance we couldn’t hold on any longer and all of our gloves slipped off of each other’s sleds. I guess my so-called “buff” sisters weren’t as strong as they bragged. Practically losing my balance and skidding off my saucer I flung my arms back onto my own disk. Normally I would have rolled off my sled on purpose to avoid the jump. But I knew that at this rate I would be road kill. Or should I say snow kill?
I had no choice; I would have to take my 1% chance of missing the jump. Would I beat the odds? It would have to be an absolute miracle. A second before I was thrown into the chilled air my sisters and me were whipped around backwards! My voice returned and my scream was deafening even to myself. Then, “POOF!” off into the biting air I went. My only thoughts were “Insane!” and in seeing Corinne (Whose weight wasn’t exactly normal at the time) pass over my head I thought repeatedly, “Please don’t land on me.” For once I claimed luck. She bolted back behind me leaving myself no reason for to be turned into a pancake.
Meanwhile, my Dad and brother had stopped to watch us. When Dad saw Corinne being boosted up about 9 feet into the air he tapped Cardin on the shoulder and said “Look bud, Corinne is flying.” Cardin just giggled.
Down I fell, amazingly still with my sled. When I landed on my rear end, I only partially felt the pain seep in because I was in complete and utter shock. You would have been too, after flying without any wings to carry you. I couldn’t see Corinne anywhere and was about to shriek out in panic, when about two seconds later she fell from the sky. She put on a great show for people all around. Instead of landing normally she belly flopped onto the snow. Ouch. I couldn’t make up my mind if it would be more painful on ice or in water. It didn’t make a difference though. She had been numbed from shock as well. I would have exploded with laughter if Adrienne hadn’t started to cry. Cry?! It didn’t make any sense. Adrienne hadn’t even gone off the jump. She had skimmed the side and barely left the snowy ground an inch. Instantly I asked, “What on earth are you wailing about?” Not the nicest thing in the world but she didn’t seem to notice. She sobbed out “Corinne is dying!” Corinne was up by now and had turned to face me. Her chin was badly scraped up. It looked like the beginning of a red beard just starting to sprout out. Of course Adrienne had over exaggerated on the dying part. I remember scrunching my face up and mumbling “Oooo, painful” They should definitely make chin helmets all right. I would buy one no doubt about it.
That was one day that my sisters and me can all remember very clearly. Not because we got hurt, but because it was record-breaking fun! We’ve all gone sledding every Winter after that day. I guess we’re all just waiting for a new excitement to lure us in. It’s nice to know you don’t have to be smart to enjoy life. Like I always say “Being stupid is the smart way to having fun!” (Most of the time.) So relax and take a deep breath. Take a break from thinking for a while and just enjoy yourself. If your grades aren’t perfect, don’t worry your tail off about it. It is not the end of the world. Remember, what matters most in life is having fun!

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