When I was little, the world I knew was endless. So many places to explore, discover, create and imagine. Everything became illusional. Like nothing was real. Like everything was just a dream that you never wanted to wake up from. I thought of the world as a place that you could be loved and respected. A turning point in my life was when I was 8 . I was watching the news and payed close attention to a certain story. A 12 year old boy had left this world to live with the angels. Because of some ignorant, no-good, terrible human beings. They called him homophobic slurs and beat him. He just couldn't take it anymore. Till this day I am stuck befuddled but yet shocked to think that someone could actually put so much effort to make someone feel like crap and actually go out of their way to make that persons day terrible. I don't know how anyone could live with themselves after knowing that they were the reason why that person isn't breathing anymore. After watching that segment of the daily news, my perception of the world changed drastically. After that and throughout the years, there were more stories of kids, teens, even adults killing themselves because of certain people and their actions. And I began to think. I thought the earth was a beautiful place. But hearing these terrifying stories made me realize that I was under an illusion. All through my childhood perception of the world was so innocent. But growing up reality hit me straight in between the eyes and I finally saw the truth. What I once thought was a beautiful place is now a place full of hatred and regret. It was like my childhood was on trial and the events that took place through the years were evidence against me in the fact that my childhood was a lie. It took me a while to find out that the world is such an amazing place that we take it for granted. We don't focus on the beauty anymore, we focus on the bad. It seems that love and kindness are only found in a small variety of people. But what happened to peace? What happened to happiness? What happened to the innocence? I can tell you. It all destroyed me when I was eight.
The Lie of My Childhood
April 29, 2015