This Really Is All That I Can Write…

January 2, 2009
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Just when the strangeness of the world seem fraught with confusion I remembered the meaning of bittersweet. I’ll be damned, my soul still can find events worthy of remembering and writing and explaining, however impossible it may be to write the truth.

I have found a lover of sorts again. Not a person mind you, that may very well be impossible for my soul to let itself become one with another, but a memory from a past that I own. It is not whole, it is not truth, but it is the Truth - pure and simple. It is light. It is beautiful.

The best memories are made in silence, when language doesn’t need to be spoken. You hugging my arm tighter, you wiping your tears on my shirt that I wanted to wear for days, you moving closer, leaning away, whispering, breathing - that was a bitter scream to me.

Silent communication is a language that can only be found through living and that can only be expressed between connected soulmates in each other’s presence. The language flows through touches and looks and culminates to form a well of melding empathy that only two can know.

I’ve never expected these moments, even when I should have. They appear, or more truthfully, they are made. People truly are Gods or at least Creators - in their own way. People always want to know, to think, to understand, but instead make up what the world is through language and hope. In trying to find the truth, people are the largest liars of all.

This collection of words is a lie, but you see, it is True because I can feel it to be. There are no facts, but there is soul. When your soul agrees with something, it is True. This is the best language can do.

Hugs, kisses, smiles, eyes, these are the language of the soul, where lying is impossible. That is why your holding of my arm, your crying, your breath - that is why, yes, I cried too. I was not sad. I was not happy. I was thankful. At least I got this moment, it is enough for anyone.

Let me add that I love you, and now I mercifully, will shut up.

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