What Real Love Truly Is

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My life has been eventful from the minute I was born. I was born in Paraguay; a small but beautiful country in South America. I was placed into adoption because my mother couldn’t take care of me. She was very young and did not have support at home. So I was secretly placed for adoption. I came to the United States with an Irish-American family. They told me about my adoption when I was young, but more importantly they helped me through the phase of non acceptance. They told me when I was in kindergarten and surprisingly I understood everything they were saying.


They told me that she loved me and that she couldn’t take care of me due to the very rough conditions she was in with my biological family. They told me that just because I’m not blood related to them, I am still there daughter. I understood that. However I wanted to know about her and why. They had no answers. This confused and upset me. I wasn’t really angry with anybody. I was more angry about why there were no answers. My adoptive parents told me where I was from, my biological mother’s name, how I got here and what my biological name was, what day I came to the U.S., when my adoption day was, who my foster mother was, that I have a biological sister who was placed for adoption, my adoption story and that they loved me. That’s all I knew….that’s all they knew.



I grew up confused about my adoption. I understood the facts. But I wanted to know more. I was curios. My parents were very understanding about my curiosity and were open to questions, however I knew they didn’t have answers and I didn’t want to offend them. I remember one night when I was seven I was up late. I cried because I was nervous about where my mother was. My father was. My sister. Everything! Did she ever marry someone? Did she have anymore kids? Would she ever replace me? Could she be…..dead? The last two questions put me in tears. My parents asked me what was going on but I held back. Then I decided to tell them that I was having a hard time accepting my adoption. I was amazed at there empathy and kindness. They were amazingly patient. I went through years of confusion and frustration. Until one special year came.


In August of 2006, I took a trip with my family to Paraguay with a group of kids and there families of all different ages ( who were from the United States, England, and Canada) who were adopted from Paraguay. We could all relate to each other, tour the country and best of all locate foster and biological families. I reunited with my foster mother Carmen. She told me about my biological mother and social workers were going to search for my biological family. I was ready but at the same time afraid. I’d never know what I was going to find out. It was a long journey until one special day……


On April 26, 2007 I was in the sixth grade. I was outside but them my father came in and told me to come in. My parents were waiting inside with a package. I thought “ Ok yell at me. What did I do now?” But no….It was a report. However the most special report I’ll ever get in my entire life. They located my biological family.
When they told me the news I broke down in tears. Tears of overwhelming emotions of joy. They found wonderful information about them. My questions were answered and even more information was added. I found out what my mother liked to do, what her family was like, where she lived and where my other relatives lived, my father’s name and occupation, and so much more. She was alive, she never would replace me and she didn’t have anymore children. She even said she’s want to have CONTACT with me. I wrote to her on mother’s day. It was amazing. No words can describe it.

There are certain things that I want to address about adoption. My parents are my adoptive parents but they are my true parents. Confusing? Not really when you think about it. Real parents are different from biological parents. Biological parents give you life however real parents are the ones who feed you, the ones who provide you with an education, love you, help you when your upset, tuck you in at night, and care for you. My biological parents can and will always hold a special place forever in my heart but I really owe it to my adoptive parents. My true parents. When people struggle with their adoption issues I will be there to help them. I’ll be there with a listening, open ear because I can relate. I’ll treat them with kindness and ever lasting patience. Like my true parents. As a true friend.





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