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How to Be a Human

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What should one be? Who should one be? When should one be? Where should one be? Most importantly, why should one be? These generally unanswerable questions have plagued humanity for eternity, yet no one can gave even a partially accepted answer for any. For that reason, I give my own.

One should be whatever they want to be. Anyone can become a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher, a parent, or even the president. Anyone should be able to freely be of any religion, of any belief, of any political party, of any race, and of any sexuality. This does not mean that a person should be a slacker, a criminal, or even worse, a terrorist. It means that a person should be someone who works for the common good and the welfare of themselves, their families, and of others. In the interwoven fabric of society, the malevolent actions of a few affect all. The only reason someone becomes any kind of criminal is through the actions of another; not a single person on this planet is truly evil at heart (at least at birth)- people become evil. Because of this, a person should always be what is truly unaffected by outside influences: themselves. If everyone could be themselves and didn't try to impress others by being someone else, we would be much farther along. Unfortunately, not a single person on Earth can boast being themselves 100% of the time, so this is relatively useless. What isn't useless is the fact that if we all worked for the common good, we would not be in the position we are today.

As for who you should be, that is obvious- yourself. You are not truly affected by the outside. Inside, your true courage and resolve exists, but you will not let it out, in the fear that others will inflict physical or emotional pain upon you for not fitting in. It happens to me all the time (a multi-racial nerd with dreams of becoming a doctor or a lawyer always gets the worst of it), but even though the social segregation does affect my outer self, I don't let it speak in any manner, physical or verbal. Maybe that is why I haven't crumbled to the ground and asked for mercy yet. Maybe it's why I'm still here, alive, both physically and emotionally healthy (although I'm probably a little mentally unhealthy, but who isn't?). Maybe it's why I can still proudly say I'm a weird, dorky nerd with more than a few unattainable dreams for life who's working to make them come true at this very moment. It's probably why I'm not a criminal drug addict with a twisted mind, fantasizing about death. And it is definitely why I, like many others, am here working to make the world just a little better.

One should be here in the present. I say this because I live in the past. I revel in my achievements without thinking about how I'll get to my next big milestone. I mourn what I've lost and what's been taken from me. I recreate the good times in my mind and live in them because I don't want to face what horrible event will come next. I cannot live in the present because it is unbearable, and I cannot live in the future because I have no idea what to expect. I give this advice because what little I can hold on to in the past always fades away, forgotten completely and forever. I fall into little spurts of depression until I can remember something else to latch on to, at least until I forget it. Whenever I decide to live in the present, I flee to the safety, comfort, and familiarity of the past because I can't stand to live the consequences of my actions in the present. If I could always live in the present, I would never have made said mistakes and it would be enjoyable. Unfortunately, I'm too mentally weak to handle who I am and what I've done, so I cower in shame and run to the darkness of the recesses of my thoughts and memories. I implore you to not follow my path while you can, while you haven't been sucked in by the ease of living in the past.

Where one should live is their choice, derived from their actions. I live in shame because of a couple wrong decisions I made years ago. Many live in happiness and comfort because they live in the present and can monitor their own actions, instead of wishing they had done something different. Some live in wealth and affluence, others in poverty and deprivation. I live in an emotional nightmare because I want something it is impossible to have, and in a mental nightmare because I am driven crazy by that want. I can only hope to leave my place of figurative residence, which will probably never happen. I can always instruct others to live in at least imaginary happiness and hope, before the truth is realized and the darkness ensues.

Why one should be is a very broad question. I personally believe life is lived for others, who can enjoy your happiness and friendship or simple generosity. I don' t want to live for my own continuation, for I can never truly satisfy my own standards. I can only please others, so I do. Unfortunately, others believe life is lived for oneself. Others believe it is lived to worsen the lives of the innocent. Even worse, some believe life is lived to terrorize others. These greedy, selfish, and/or evil people brought our world to the train wreck it is today- a war-torn, divided "society" where leaders attack their own people out of pure spite. Since it is impossible to convert an evil spirit to a peaceful and compassionate one, all we can do is be that compassionate spirit to outweigh the evil spirits surrounding us.
~

To be a human, you need to have the qualities of a true human, which are present in no true human. A true person is imperfect and susceptible. Otherwise, the world would be much different today- we would have no problems and no worries, no wars and no unnecessary death. Unfortunately, since we do not live in such a world, the only way to try to get to it is through the resonating actions of the few who have the desire to get there.
~
Inspirations
Four quotes (will remain unstated)
My ELA teacher, who forced me to do this (and I willingly complied)
The evil in this world
The few who try to fix it
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Darkness only ascends when uninterrupted.



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