When You're Empty

May 29, 2013
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There comes a time in your life when you feel like you're on autopilot every day. You do all that is required of you, you have friends, maybe a girlfriend, an alright family. You have the potential to create an amazing future. You have all of these things, yet you can't find happiness in any of them. You're empty. You feel more alone than ever before, even among caring people.
Maybe this doesn't apply to all people. But from what I'm told, it's a common feeling, especially with teenagers. It's a deep depression seemingly without a cause. Can it be fixed? Some will say that it can, that with enough motivation one can overcome it. Some will say that it cannot be fixed. An extreme form of it may foster suicidal thoughts and/or tendencies. I realize that in both cases, motivation is lacking or absent. What kind of depressed person has the motivation to do something about it, especially if self harm is tossed in the issue?
I think that in my case, lack of motivation is not the issue. The issue is the fact that I can't find a source. I have enough 'get up and go' to accomplish anything. But is it worth the effort? Is it worth living in a constant state of unhappiness?
If you don't know where to start looking for the reason why you're unhappy, you know there's a real problem. If there's not an inkling of an idea, then you have a tough task ahead of you. Therapists don't always help. Medications don't always work. If you ever find the reason, perhaps it's because you figured out how to look into yourself and at your situation from another perspective.
When I look at myself, I see an empty shell. I'm a girl who has trouble expressing her emotions, communicates better in writing, and doesn't think highly of her existence. I should have a great future, but somehow I don't think it'll matter. I'm not happy, and I haven't been for a long time. Maybe I'll never be again. My own advice doesn't work for me, so what can I do?
I decided to write this in case there are people out there just like me. I still haven't said all that I wanted to, but the gist is here. The only people that have come close to helping me were people close to my age. It gives me the idea that, if people like me were to band together, we could overcome some of our problems. All it takes is a cry for help, and an empathetic ear.

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