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Far From Home This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

When I came here, I thought everything would fall into place. I’d be magically transformed into that girl I want to be—the one who knows herself, who soars unhindered, who finds the kind of love that means everything, that changes everything. But nothing’s changed.

If anything, I feel more insecure than I ever did back home. The professors don’t know me. The students don’t know me. And I can’t meet his eyes—the ones that belong to that boy—when he casually says, “What’s up?” Like a shy school girl, I slip away too quickly or tell an awkward joke or give away too much….Or not enough.

And I just keep looking for someone else to warrant my existence. I wait for these people who were strangers to me six weeks ago to tell me something I can’t tell myself. And why can’t I tell myself? I wouldn’t believe me if I tried.

Because I have this crazy way of believing I am right against all criticism….yet I’m not sure how much I’m worth against the silence that refuses to acknowledge me.

And the cars drive by and the keys click and I can hear myself breathing. And I wonder why it matters.

And this is when you’d give me a Bible verse and tell me God loves me, and this is why I am treasured.

But I don’t believe in God.



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PaigeStreet This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 2:58 pm
This is a powerful piece of prose-poetry. It really feels like a diary entry, but it retains a certain poetic depth. The end is particularly poignant, because the work is filled with a longing, a self-aware need and an attempt to self-support. Its like the poem is aware of itself. And every question in there could be answered with God, but the end cuts off that possibility. It highlights a brilliant theme in here, for me, that our boundaries are often self-imposed. This piece really makes me thi... (more »)
 
the_sparrow This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 5:46 pm
You're absolutely right--it actually started as a journal entry, something we used to do as a project in my junior English class. In the process of writing, I realized where it was going and decided that I wanted to publish it. And...the end simply came of its own accord, as my genuine response.
 
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