My Dad is proud of me.

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"Dad passed away this morning" those words struck me like lightning bolts over and over and over.Driving on the way to his funeral the next day,the never ending tears soaking me all over.I never knew I could cry so much.I thought of dad,the things he did,the songs he loved.The way he loved all his 7 kids and wife so much(me being second youngest).The truth is,I was his favorite he would never say it,but everyone could tell.It was me who decided where we would go on a family day,what movie we would watch.where we would go to eat,and he would always tell me how proud he was of me,thats why the rest of the siblings never favorited me becuase I was a little spoiled,(they had 3 other sisters to love)it was fine because I knew I was his favorite.He would tell every one stories that would embarress the life out of me one in particular I was a flower girl for a friend of his's wedding and I was 3 years old.We had to go out of town for the wedding just me and him.I was daddys little girl.Without Mom,3 years old and I was fine with that.But when it came time for me to walk down the aisle without him for a few minutes next to 2 other strange kids I didnt know, I couldn't.I was too shy and scared and I didnt want to leave him.So dad walked alongside 3 kids at a wedding because I didnt want to leave him.He told so many people and I would cringe every time he did.Sadly,my dad and I grew apart as I became a teenager,which I take on all the giult because i know it is all my fault.I always thought it was just one of those things that I could work on when I got older and teenagers just generally dont like theyre parents.But time didn't wait for me to work on my relationship with my dad.He passed away 2 weeks after I turned 14.I regret every time i couldve told him how much I loved him and how much I DO need him.I remeber how He would tell the world how proud he was of all of us,our slightest accomplishmet would be known to all the world,he would even tell complete strangers about his kids!He would allways tell me how proud he was of us,he would tell me how beautifully i played violin(even when i know i sounded horrible).I always took it for granted that he would be there to hold my hand when I got scared.And one day maybe if I have to walk down the aisle, I won't be able to see him,but I know he'll be there walking beside me.Maybe I'm not anyones elses favorite ...but I was his.Thats all that matters.My dad loved me,and I won't get to hear my dad say that hes proud of me for a very long time....but when I do I want to make sure that I deserve his pride...I'm going to live and make him proud.So when I see him he'll tell me,I'm so proud of you Marigold.





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