Sitting here, in this same chair is where it really hit me. She broke up with me. She doesn't want me. It's Over. I had known it was over, but I hadn't KNOWN that it was over. My heart was still in it, it just hadn't made its way from my ears to my brain to my heart. I would find out it would go much deeper than that. It would go to my Soul, the very essence of who I was. I still have scars from that relationship. People say you can't be in Love this young, they are wrong, they are so wrong. Only Love that got lost could cause that much Pain. I thought it was the End, nothing mattered. I wanted to die. But you know what? I'm still here aren't I? I made it. Sure, I had my fair share of blood, sweat, and tears. But I made it. I made it because I clung to God, the people I loved, and Running. Had it not been for those 3 things, I wouldn't have made it. Sometimes in life you can only just barely get by, but you make it. You're never given more than you can handle. You'll feel like it's the End, that nothing else matters. You'll feel like you couldn't go on another day. That's normal. That's how I felt. But if I can make it, You can too. So just hold on. The darkest hour is just before the Dawn.
April 22, 2008