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FOR PREVENTING THE CONTINUING RISE OF ANY SAME-SEX MARRIAGES IN THE US

Today, more and more states join the unfortunate group, weakly succumbing to public messages for gay rights, marriage especially. Many more states most likely plan to join this fad, until the federal law dictates the final say. These same sex couples are happy to be wed, but they are not aware that they are taking away from others the religious definition of “marriage” between a man and a woman, and if they are indeed aware, then most couples stubbornly support gay marriage anyway.
I think it is agreed by many US citizens that this overwhelming support for same-sex marriage is a burden to our government, what with all the laws being written in their favor and walks and petitions; and therefore, whoever could find out an effective, fair, and lasting solution of ending these bothersome messages to society and the government should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for preserving the nation and preventing a clash between the supporters and opposers of same sex marriage.
But my intention is very far from being confined to those who are homosexual; it is of a much greater extent, and shall take in the number of supporters of same sex marriage, whether or not they are homosexual.
As to my own part, having mulled upon this subject for the few short years since it has first begun, and justly adjusted my scheme to be as fair as possible. It is true that many think homosexuality is a curse, but there are those who support it. Because heterosexuality is very the more superior lifestyle, those who support or are homosexuals can provide for our society in other ways than spreading their beliefs. They shall, from wherever they are, contribute to the jails, feeding, and maybe clothing of many U.S. citizens.
There is likewise another great advantage in my scheme, that it will ultimately end homosexuality support! No more will there be laws passed and parades walked and petitions signed! too frequent among us! causing the opportunity for violence and disintegrating or heterosexual foundation, which would move tears and pity to even the most savage and inhuman breast.

The number of souls in this country being usually reckoned three hundred thirteen million, of these I calculate there may be about one million gay people living with a same sex partner at least; for whom I add about a million individuals who support the movement or are homosexual singles; this being done, there will be in total maybe two million homosexual supporters in this country. I again add five hundred thousand because the sources I used were dated back to the year 2000. In total, there will be about 2.5 million homosexuals and supporters. The question therefore is, how this number shall be contained and controlled, for as I have said, this population goes against what the majority wishes and may pose to be an ultimate threat to our patriotic nation. For we can neither place them in concentration camps or merely shoot them dead to solve this issue; we can neither torture them to relinquish their beliefs and fads nor can we ask them to immigrate to other countries. There are rumors that homosexuality is not merely a fad, but rather a biologically ingrained seed. To put it simply, there are people who are “born that way”. Although I confess there may be the slightest chance this rumor is true, I would rather not indulge in what may be false beliefs, as I have been informed by our intelligent public that homosexuality is dangerous, not a lifestyle, definitely a fad, and something that must be cut at roots.
I am assured by the internet that a boy or girl the age of 5 is not too young to begin the process; and even when they come to pass this age they will still be able to be covertly coerced into becoming heterosexuals.
I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least objection.
I have been assured by the Internet, that a homosexual child should begin the process to being converted into a normal child. By cutting off whatever preference they were born with, we could easily prevent the rise of homosexuality in the United States, a feat that is only comparable to what will be done if this conversion is not successful.
I do therefore humbly offer it to public consideration that of the population of about 2.5 million, not all of which are children, all children will be placed under extreme and immediate measures to be converted back to normal; which is nothing like brainwashing or hypnotizing; and my reason is, that these children are fruits of heterosexual relationships, therefore they must be returned to their origins. The remaining teenagers and adults who are unfortunately too old to converted must still are able to serve this heterosexual society somehow. Therefore, why not sacrifice them for the greater good of humanity?
I have reckoned that with their sturdy skins and tougher meat, these folks will be able to provide the leather and tougher meats that some of our citizens prefer.
I grant these products will be dear and may decrease the slaughter of our livestock, ultimately benefitting society.
These products, items and food, will be in season each year. There are many, many homosexuals and even if we run out of these people, their brief time in replacing the cattle will have boosted our economy and perhaps may give the U.S. the big boost it needed to climb its way back to the top.
I have already computed the charge of converting a homosexual child (in which list I reckon all scientists and laborers and participants) to be expensive, but worthwhile; and I believe that it would be a horrid matter to execute a child to be eaten or sewn into a leather purse, but if the conversion has not successfully set, then in his or her later years, that is the only solution left.
Still, it isn’t to be worried over because many teenagers, the standard age to reap homosexuals, are deceased because of drinking and/or driving incidents; only this time they will serve a social beneficial cause.
As to our state of Florida, it is one of the mighty states still standing tall and unwavering against the plaguing banner of homosexuality; still I worry that eventually our governor may be attacked in a moment of weakness and pass a law granting same sex marriages. I can only hope our governor takes my suggestions in hand before he falls to the will of the people or other radicals who may want to send the population to concentration camps, as they did in Nazi Germany.
A very worthy person, a true heterosexual, and whose values I highly esteem, had applauded my scheme. She said that her relatives and herself would support this cause wholeheartedly and they would not be adverse to buying homosexual-made products; so great a number of this population was available and so verily patriotic to the nation that they would not say no, of course; and these numbers, ashamed that they were “born this way”, could finally set things right for themselves and their families. Despite our disagreements in the methods that should be provided to enforce this, I agree with her; this is a pride born unto those who are born homosexuals to serve their country as products or to right their wrongs and bring honor to their families; I confess, it is a honorable desire and I have not the strongest objection against this well-intended project.

But in order to justify my friend, she confessed that this idea of concentration camps had been set into her mind by her Jewish ancestors, travelling to the states from Europe, survivors of the Holocaust. Although pain was wrought unto them, it was for the greater good of humanity; it was also their fault that they had upset the Germans; and therefore, took it upon their national pride to be sacrificed and burned to appease the heavens for the wrongs they had done. Although I cannot deny that they had the right intentions, even if the heavens were appeased, their bodies did not serve the nation as their spirits did; and therefore, it was a waste and why placing homosexuals in concentration camps is not the ideal solution.

I have too long digressed, and therefore shall return to my subject. I think the advantages by the proposal which I have made are obvious and many, as well as of the highest importance.

For first, as I have already observed, it would greatly lessen the number of disobedient children, who proclaim to be homosexuals in order to agitate their parents or cause a scene among peers. This is a large percentage of homosexuals, especially during the teenage years because that is the period of rebellion and nothing screams rebellion like supporting something your parents do not support.

Secondly, For the homosexuals made into products, their families will be compensated so their years of raising this individual will not have gone to waste.

Thirdly, Whereas the maintenance of the conversion institutes of about a million children, from childhood to teenage years, cannot be computed, the moral standards and patriotic nature of the U.S. will rise, eventually causing the older stock, unable to undergo conversion, to hopefully change its mind set and provide for our community whether as food or as clothing. And the money will circulate among ourselves, the goods being entirely of our own growth and manufacture.

Fourthly, The parents who are burdened with the homosexual child will be given the option to give up their children to the conversion institutes when the first sign of homosexuality is detected or to keep their children and be later compensated for the many years of dutiful service to our nation.

Fifthly, This food provided by homosexuals, though most likely tough meat, will be a new cuisine in America, causing many tourists to stop by our fast foods and classy quarters for a meal; it will give chefs a new material to dress and play with; a new sort of food for ladies and gentleman to brag that they have tasted; and a delicacy only available in the homeland of good Uncle Sam; allowing for more people crowding into our nation, which will help circulate the goods made.

Sixthly, This would cut off any notion of same-sex marriage from the start. There would be no violent uprisings in the future or tiresome laws written to appease the homosexual population and its supporters. All of this could be avoided and America will see a surge in our financial, moral, and patriotic departments.

Many other advantages might be enumerated. For instance, the addition of the new roasts exported will surely bring favor the US and we will stand mightily above all again. The pigmentation of a homosexual’s skin will also provide for some interesting new fashion designs in attire and accessories! And this being for the greater good of humanity, is not only open to homosexuals, but also to their supporters who will undeniably wish to support their counterparts while benefitting this great nation. There are too many possibilities I omit, being studious of brevity.

After all, I am not so force fed upon my own opinions as to reject any constructive criticism by wise men, which shall be found equally effective. But before something of that kind shall be advanced in contradiction to my scheme, and offering a better, I desire the author or authors will be pleased maturely to consider two points. First, as things now stand, how do you plan to passively control an aggressive uprising led by homosexuals. And secondly, there being a round million of creatures in human figure through the States, whose whole life’s meaning would be worthless without the service and care provided by our government through the many opportunities and the conversion: I desire those who dislike my overture, and may perhaps be so bold as to attempt an answer, that they will first ask these homosexual participants, whether they would not at this day think it a great happiness, achievement, and duty to be sold as food or clothing or psychologically changed to benefit our country, thereby avoiding a conflict or a scene of misfortunes which they would have gone through under the oppression of bullies and laws, the dreary thoughts that they could not benefit our communities, and the most inevitable prospect of entailing the like or greater miseries upon their breed for ever.

I profess, in the sincerity of my heart, that I have not the least personal interest in endeavoring to promote this necessary work, having no other motive than benefitting my beloved country, by advancing our domestic and international trade, providing for homosexual infants, relieving parents of homosexuals, and giving new products and delicacies to the world. I have no relatives by which I can propose to claim a single penny of compensation and I, not of the homosexual breed, cannot claim a penny to help support my family as well.





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