Ordinary Girl: Self-Harm

April 15, 2012
By , Midlothian, VA
I am a self harmer. Or, at least I was. I’ve been clean for 6 months and I’ve sworn to never do it again. But, I suppose what they say is true, that the urge never leaves you. It’s a clawed demon, constantly trying to escape and you have to constantly fight to push it down, deep within your soul. But I digress. I’m not here to tell you what it’s like to be a self harmer. I just want to make a few points and then I’ll let you get back to your gossip girl watching or pot smoking or whatever you please. But, do me the honor of listening for a few minutes; who knows, maybe you will actually learn something.

People treat self harmers like we are freaks and a common term used to describe us is “emo fags.” Gosh, harsh much? We aren’t freaks and unlike popular opinion, not all of us have been abused or raped or had some monstrosity rip apart the fabric of our lives. We are normal people who lead normal lives but we just don’t exactly know how to cope with whatever is going on at the time. It could be bullying or a death or a break up or boredom or stress or anxiety or despair or fear. Sometimes, we are just so numb that we cut to make us feel alive. We need to feel the pain, see the blood, cry the healing tears. It seems like it’s the only thing that will help because nothing else does.

Self harm is scary. It takes your life and scars it, ruins it. But, it doesn’t ruin it forever. One day, the scars fade, the lies untangle and the tears still fall, but they fall on new skin, unbroken skin. People can act like it’s some sort of contagious disease, something to be feared. But it’s not- it’s just another way of coping. Granted, it’s the wrong way to cope but that doesn’t mean that it’s something toxic and poisonous.

One final thought, a shout out to anybody that struggles with self harm. Stop. Put down the knives, blades, needles and razors. Bandage the scars and the wounds that pain and life have left. Get help, talk to someone, and heal your heart. Cry, get angry, let the emotions out. Only then, can you start living the life that you are meant to live and be the person that you are supposed to be. Just remember, you are never alone and self harm is never the answer.

Thanks for reading. I’ll be back next week with some more thoughts on another hot topic…maybe drugs? Drinking? Gay rights? Idk, maybe I’ll let you decide. Leave me a comment; I would love to hear your thoughts. Ciao!

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justbreath said...
Apr. 20, 2012 at 3:10 pm
thought provoking, well written and inspiring! Kepp up the good work :)
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