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My Depression

From the ages of 12 to about 16 I was severely depressed. I didn't want to tell anyone and I really didn't know how. I though it made me weak that I couldn't handle all of my problems. Instead of opening up and asking for help I bottled up and shut down on the world. It all started out with my first really bad break up. It was my longest relationship and I was completely crushed when it ended. I had let someone become such a part of me that I didn't even know who I was without them. I cried myself to sleep for months and shut everyone out. I didn't like to talk about it, I started dating someone else and I just tried to forget about it. If I don't think about it for a really long time it'll go away, right? Wrong. It just started to get worse. Then me and the new boy I had been dating broke up. I didn't have very strong feelings for him so it wasn't nearly as devestating. Everything was okay for a couple months. I'd actually even say it was good. Then my whole world just started falling apart. My best friend told me that I wasn't a good friend, I didn't think of anyone but myself, she was always there for me and that I wasn't worthy of her friendship. Talk about harsh. I had been dating a different boy as well and found out that he had been cheating. I went off the deep end. I stopped talking, I stopped doing things with my friends and I just wanted all of it to go away. So one night I took some pills. I don't know why I did it, I guess I just wanted to block out the world for a couple of hours. Looking back I don't really think that I was trying to kill myself, but I didn't really realize how dangerous taking those pills was. It could've killed me.
Since then so much has changed. I talked to my parents about what I had done and of course they kinda freaked out but I knew they would. I don't shut down anymore. I realized that when I thought I was helping everyone by not burdening them with my troubles, I was severely hurting myself. Now I take a lot more time thinking about what the best choice for me is and if my decisions are going to make me happy. Everyone else will get over it eventually. And the people who truly love you and care for you won't need to get over it, because if you're happy then they will be too.




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