How to Define Yourself

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Have you ever stopped to think? I mean really stopped to think about what defines you?

For most adults in this world, the answers appear to be linked with their job, their titles – lawyer, doctor, teacher, other, father, husband or wife. As teenagers, are we the same?

It’s human nature to define your very being by the titles you carry, the boxes that you are put into. Do you define yourself by the friends that you spend your time with? The music you listen to, movies you watch? Sport you play?

Or maybe it’s your academic achievements. Maybe, you even define yourself by your failures.

I could stand on a stage, and ask this to a room full of people, of the same age and social class.

And for each and every one of us, the answers will be different. I have asked this question to a room full of people. All about the same age, all going to the same school. But each with different values, morals, goals and life stories. Each with different personalities.

Many people don’t know how to define themselves. Who are you? When you strip away the titles, the influence of family and friends?

The greatest influence on you is YOU. Start listening to yourself.

There are several steps you can take, if you want to get a different perspective on yourself, your world. I will mention a few.


Identify the strengths and weaknesses in yourself. By knowing this, you can achieve a lot more, by opening your eyes to yourself, growing your strength and working on your weaknesses


Take time to reflect on your goals and what your REALLY want to achieve


Break away from your routine and step outside of your comfort zone. Sometimes, you allow yourself to be caught up in the mentality of the crowd, and you unwittingly conform to their ideas


Don’t stereotype yourself. Even though we are warned not to stereotype others, we often do not see the harmful effect of doing it to ourselves

Now, me telling you this is all fair and well, but as you know, teenagers have an especially hard time with the “defining yourself” business.

Once you are older, things might be more set in stone, harder to change, the then, I can’t talk from experience on that topic. I’m not an adult. I’m just me.

I can only talk as myself, who knows the pressures changes and overwhelming thoughts that your decisions now affect the rest of our lives.

While we all know this, many of us simply push the reality aside, and hide behind a think veil of apathy towards the topic.

We want to stand out, but also to fit in.

Each of our life goals are different, each of our mindsets differ. And this is a topic with too many variables, too many angles, to ever fully discuss.

You are each who you want to be, and yet? You’re a product of your life experiences.

I know that right now, I cannot define myself – yet I know who I am. I know I’ll change. I know that who I am can never be fully set in stone. So I’ll never really know for sure. And I’m okay with that. Because I know what I stand for, what I believe in, what I think, feel, AM, and who I am, without the titles.

That is how you define yourself. Know what makes you tick. Whatever that may be. There is no wrong. There can never be any wrong when it comes to knowing who you are.

I’ve never liked putting people in little boxes, or being put in them myself, and I still don’t recommend that.

But ask yourself this – “Who are you?”

Because if you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.





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