Confidence

January 3, 2012
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Although it’s easy to adopt others ideas and fall victim to societies pressures, it’s vital to stay true to your own beliefs. This is especially important while you’re in a environment such as high school, where your brain is much like a sponge and will absorb every thing you learn, see and hear. Unfortunately, while in high school, students don’t always learn, see and hear positive thoughts, ideas and actions. These special years are full of anxiety and pressure to become what is accepted in your peers eyes. The desire to be accepted, no matter what the cost is simple, you feel a part of something. When you are first introduced to this jungle of life, you don’t realize how pressure to become perfect affects you, but as you age in this environment you see how detrimental it is to a naive young heart and mind. Through comments and looks from other people you begin to feel stupid, and you question yourself, what you said, and how you looked at that time. And then the cycle begins, you start to change and modify your beliefs, your body and your ideas to please your peers and to ultimately please yourself. At that time, you are convinced that evolving into the “perfect” person is what you want. I know this from personal experience. My high school years were far from enjoyable, and I’m still working through some of the feelings and problems I’ve experienced throughout these three years. I myself have fallen victim to these pressures during my ninth grade year. I became someone that crossed lines that I did not morally agree with. I developed a mood disorder along with an eating disorder because I could not handle the stress that I held on my shoulders during these years. At school I felt insignificant to girls who were blessed with what I thought was the perfect body, the girl with the most friends, or the one who would tell the best jokes. I thought that if I made these changes to my body and myself, I would be as socially accepted as my classmates were. I felt as if I was stuck underwater, gasping for air, and no matter what I did I could not reach the brim. During this time, my family began to fall apart. This is what I think brought me to air, realizing what mattered in life. I truly believe that if I had not thought in a destructive manner, I would’ve enjoyed high school much more. My intention is to show, you, that when you don’t stand up for things that you believe in, you slowly start to lose your voice. Your voice is something original, pure and special. Molding yourself into something you don’t believe in, whether it’s a idea, your body or an action, is a slippery slope that you don’t want to fall down. One thing turns into two, and then two into three and then so on. Happiness is something everyone aspires to behold, I molded myself into someone who I was not because I believed it would make me happy. If I had honestly looked at myself and asked if not eating would make me happy, I would’ve said no but I was caught up in the moment; not thinking and being compulsive. I’ve learned that only you personally can create your happiness. Becoming someone you are not and acting different than you would does not create joy, it creates problems that you will eventually face. Although high school pressures and elements can consume one, it’s important to remember that it’s a minute chapter in life. The negatives in high school become trivial once graduated, and the positives stay with you.





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