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This teacher is a nut case, preaching about “I go to bed exactly at 7:00 and wake up exactly at 4:30 am.” Immediately I’m reminded of the crazy serial killers we see on the television, that have everything in order and at the first sign of something being out of place… SNAP!
There we go the headlines will read “Teacher seeks justice” or “Students push teachers over the edge.”
Either way somehow it’s always the ravaged students fault when a teacher ends up curled in a ball in some bare and padded room, rocking back and fourth humming to herself, and officially being categorized as cuckoo for Coco-Puffs.
“Maybe it’s coffee withdraw” my friend whispers in my ear. You know old people become dependent on coffee…. I think it’s part of their life force. I looked over again in wonder, in time to see her eye twitching and a full toothed smile that gleamed.
Her eyes were fixated on me, looking like a jaguar hiding in the camouflage and just waiting for the small defenseless animal to step into the trap and then ripping them limb from limb.
That look of you’re in trouble and being the type of citizen I am I recognized this and did what any white collard criminal would do. I started sucking up as soon as the opportunity prevailed. “Why Mrs.C, you are looking fetching today with those lovely …um …..lovely….um.” Quickly I eye searched Mrs.C, for any sign of color coordination, or any hint of effort to dress nice but I find nothing. Her bright pink sack of a dress with floral print and four inch high flip flops screamed “I’m color blind and probably smell like moldy cheese.”
So I totally redirected the compliment. “Wow, Mrs.C did you do something with your hair?”
She slowly moved her hand from the desk to a large drawer and began shuffling through a stack of folders. All the while her creepy large green goblin like eyes never left mine. She just kept staring and staring. Then all of a sudden she pulled it out and …… that’s the last thing I can remember before my old, can’t teach worth a darn, slightly more than a lunatic teacher snapped and killed me.
Nawh, I’m only pulling your chain she actually pulled out the “class reflection” sheet.
“I found your reflection quit insightful.” Her voice had hit an all time high.
“Really” I responded by putting on big googley, daddy can I go to the party eyes. Hoping this would be enough to derail the inevitable. But it wasn’t, in a flash she was hovering over me, yelling about how unacceptable it was, and blah….blah….blah….blah.
I can’t help but let a sly smile slip unto my face. Mistake number two, apparently adults don’t like it when you laugh at their squished, yelling purple face, while their trying to “handle serious matters.”
Then I was forced to listen to another twenty minutes of blah…blah…blah…blah…. Oh the horrors!
Finally, after what seemed like forever she realized I wasn’t paying a lick of attention to her. Long before the five minute marker of our “conversation” I had been day dreaming of the amazing weekend out on the lake, and then began wondering if she had to trick her husband into marrying her or at the very least blind folding him. Then I was back at the lake again with the slight breeze and cool water. Unfortunately, my dreaming was so rudely interrupted when she thrust my reflection paper just millimeters in front of my face.
Calmly I asked what she didn’t like more the picture of her eating small children or my reflection of her inadequate teaching skills that reads: YOU SUCK!