Our Young Love Is Still Alive In My Heart

July 16, 2011
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Ethan. You're the only thing on my mind right now. I swear, I thought I was completely utterly over you. I've had this notion in my head that I'm going to be happy without you in my life. I've had this belief that I've been over you for the past ten months. But that's a lie; lie to you and a lie to myself. And I honestly don't know if you deserve the truth, but I'm going to tell you either way because I deserve to tell myself the truth. Before you, I promised myself I would never fall in love. I had relationships before you, and I had relationships after you. But honestly, none of them are the admirable affair we had. They didn't make my heart skip a beat. They didn't smile like you did. And they never made me feel the way you did in your arms. When I was in your arms, the world stopped. I stopped worrying for that split second, my worries and fears were gone. The only thing I could concentrate on were your arms above my waist, my arms around your neck, and the smell of your sweatshirt. I remember on the cold winter days feeling the heat of our bodies connect... It was like the warmth of a fire. I love to sleep. I love dreaming. I love feeling you with me once again. I love the never ending smile that lies upon my face, and the way your head leans in and rests against mine. I love feeling your heart beat, and the smell of you. I love the way your eyes light up as you look at me, and I can feel you adoring me. I like having our hands intertwined. I like the way your brown hair falls in your face. We're not kissing, but we're close to each other. And for me, that's enough. Feeling the love we once shared. Ethan, you're beautiful. You might be the most stubborn person I've ever met, but you leave an everlasting impression. I'll never know why out of the sea of girls that were in love with you, you choose me... But I'm glad you did. Even though there's pain, regret, and heartbreak in the end, everything we had was worth it. You respected me, and were the sweetest boy I ever met. You picked on me, and joked but when I needed you, you were always there. We never made promises to each other about forever, because we knew it would end. But in my heart, I hoped you'd say forever, just to know that you wanted me as long as I wanted you. I still want you. I still have feelings for you. You still make me feel giddy and make my eyes light up. I remember holding hands in the school stairwell, secretly kissing each other goodbyes, and writing notes in random spots in your notebooks as a reminder that I love you. And occasionally, I look back at my yearbook and see "I love you." Written in pink marker. But I know what we had is like time, not long enough and gone in a blink of an eye. I love you too much to share these words with you. I respect myself too much to lose my pride sending this to you.



P.S. I'll love you to the moon and back.

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Princess_paranoia said...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 12:00 pm
Loved it, I absolutely relate, and you put the most difficult feeling into beautiful words. :)
MeganAveryJade replied...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 6:40 pm
thank you so much! your feedback is appreciated. :)
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