My Value, My Self-Worth

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My value is worth more.
Don’t pride yourself in disdaining me. We say we don’t let other people affect how we feel; we don’t let their opinions affect our own vision of ourselves. We try so hard to believe what we say, but sometimes they get the upper hand. There’s a crack, a flaw in the mirror- that minuscule millimeter allows their ideas to fly in and they warp you. Taunt you.

My value is worth more.

I believe in myself. I believe in myself. I believe in myself. I write millions of lines on that metaphorical chalkboard. I pound the line into my mind thousands of times. I repeat and whisper the phrase to myself nightly. And now is the test- do I truly believe?

“The devil’s water it ain’t so sweet…you don’t have to drink right now. But you can dip your feet for a little while….”

Fight the spiraling. Do you think you have it easier? We’re fighting, fighting for nothing? Something? Anything? I don’t want to be in this chess game; I don’t want to be in this war. I don’t want to be the fighting side, the opposing side. Either way, we both die. I don’t want to make an effort to have to prove myself to anybody- not you, not them.

If you care or don’t care- you wouldn’t make an effort to say such things. If I care or don’t care, I need to prove myself to me.

Where’s that girl of yonder years? Her youth’s fading; that innocence. That prided, coveted innocence. Temptation’s so sweet. So deliciously sweet. So wantonly sweet. And we come to the precipice- oh so much metaphor, such vivid imagery. Fall, fall, fall or stand tall? We all know the right thing. But what feels good?
I’ll tie a rope about my waist and dip my feet into the river below the cliff’s face. In my heart I can keep true to myself while my body lies waste. While my body let’s temptation’s flames lick at it. I’ll be fine, right?

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