My Value, My Self-Worth

January 14, 2011
By xLyss SILVER, Jacksonville, Florida
xLyss SILVER, Jacksonville, Florida
7 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"So hold your head high gorgeous, there's people that would kill to see you fall."
"Carpe Diem. Seize the day! Make your lives extraordinary."


My value is worth more.
Don’t pride yourself in disdaining me. We say we don’t let other people affect how we feel; we don’t let their opinions affect our own vision of ourselves. We try so hard to believe what we say, but sometimes they get the upper hand. There’s a crack, a flaw in the mirror- that minuscule millimeter allows their ideas to fly in and they warp you. Taunt you.

My value is worth more.

I believe in myself. I believe in myself. I believe in myself. I write millions of lines on that metaphorical chalkboard. I pound the line into my mind thousands of times. I repeat and whisper the phrase to myself nightly. And now is the test- do I truly believe?

“The devil’s water it ain’t so sweet…you don’t have to drink right now. But you can dip your feet for a little while….”

Fight the spiraling. Do you think you have it easier? We’re fighting, fighting for nothing? Something? Anything? I don’t want to be in this chess game; I don’t want to be in this war. I don’t want to be the fighting side, the opposing side. Either way, we both die. I don’t want to make an effort to have to prove myself to anybody- not you, not them.

If you care or don’t care- you wouldn’t make an effort to say such things. If I care or don’t care, I need to prove myself to me.

Where’s that girl of yonder years? Her youth’s fading; that innocence. That prided, coveted innocence. Temptation’s so sweet. So deliciously sweet. So wantonly sweet. And we come to the precipice- oh so much metaphor, such vivid imagery. Fall, fall, fall or stand tall? We all know the right thing. But what feels good?
I’ll tie a rope about my waist and dip my feet into the river below the cliff’s face. In my heart I can keep true to myself while my body lies waste. While my body let’s temptation’s flames lick at it. I’ll be fine, right?



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