What We Hide With Action

June 8, 2010
By Anonymous

Everyone hides something in order to make their life and dealing with themselves easier. In some cases what you hide protects only you but in other cases it protects everyone around you instead. In my case, it’s the latter of the two.

I’m bi, and my friends, at least the ones I still have, accept that. But though they say they are okay with it to my face I can tell they all have their levels of awkwardness with it. I get it. What I do to make up for it, to compensate for it, takes control whenever I am with them. I never really do anything that makes me seem the least bit bi. I allow myself to be wrapped up in whatever they are talking about and never bring up odd of different view points that might remind them of the truth. I only check out girls when I’m with them. I never talk about any of my past relationships just to avoid that topic entirely.

I’m not sure why I do it, I guess to help my friends repress that strange feeling they must have towards me. They still accept me but that doesn’t make it any less strange for them and I understand that. I do my part to make them feel like they are with just another straight guy, the same lie they tell themselves so they can act normal around me. It works out and though they know the truth they never feel the difference when being around me. I compensate, overcompensate, in order to make everything the way it was before they knew and we all stay as close of friends as ever.

The author's comments:
This is something for anyone in a situation simular to mine, hope it helps!

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