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Thanks To My Guardian Angel
How can a person love you if they have no blood relation to you? I am almost positive the answer is, ‘thanks to a miracle.’ Esther, my step mom, is that miracle in my life. Esther met me when I was three years old and never gave up on me. When I was put in care at the age of nine, I felt unloved and alone in a world of millions. Then I realized I still had my step mom; not only has she been by my side, she has also been a major influence in my life.
I remember being a young child like it was yesterday…
“Lauren, didn’t I tell you to behave?”
“I’m not doing anything wrong,” I said smiling with spaghetti hanging out of my mouth.
My step mom couldn’t help but laugh. Her laugh still echoes in my head today, a soft generous laugh, more like a giggle.
“Lauren sit up straight, chew with your mouth closed, and don’t talk with food in your mouth,” she managed to say after gaining control of herself.
“Ok,” I stammered. Truthfully I was upset.
Looking back at this day in our cozy kitchen ten years ago I can’t help but smile. I was so mad at the fact that she wouldn’t stop correcting me. Right now I am so glad she did what she had done. I look down at myself and see a perfectionist, but one who knows limits. I see a girl who is becoming a sophisticated woman. Thanks to my step mom, I am not a slob.
“Mom, are the white crackers for white people and the brown ones for black people?” I questioned in front of a Wal-Mart audience. I was young and cared about no ones feelings.
“Lauren Annette Smith,” my step mom raised her voice as she bent down to my level, “I never want to hear you say anything like that ever again!” She glared at me with a fiery stare. I instantly felt guilty. Although I never apologized to her face, I did in my heart.
This was the first lesson I ever learned as a child on cruelty. My step mom taught me this lesson when I was about six, and she hasn’t had to correct me on it twice. My step mom was a good teacher, she only had to teach me once, and I never repeated that same act again. My step mom taught me something deeper than not to be cruel, through her actions she taught me how to love. When I step back and watch my actions I see that same type of love she gave me being passed out to others. I have become a loving person with Esther’s help.
“Rubicon Toon, I want this toy and I want it NOW!” I glared at my biological mother with a parental stare.
“Honey we don’t have the money for that…” as she started to say this I threw myself on the floor and thrashed about until she gave in.
When my step mom learned of this incident she put me through another lesson, this time with a harder force. Although my step mom did not adore my mom, she did love me. She taught me that through discipline she could show love. Her discipline was never harsh, it was just very firm. I am so glad she was by my side because if not I would currently be a high-maintenance tantrum thrower.
Esther was a major influence on me. If she wouldn’t have been there, I wouldn’t be the 3.87 G.P.A., school-loving, dual credit student that I am. Because Ester held onto our love like a guard dog clutches his food bowl at dinner time, I did not become any of these things. I have a hard life through foster care and an even harder life of living through abuse, but I was never alone. Through out my life I had a form of an angel by my side because I had Esther. Esther was there for me through everything, she loved me, she nurtured me, and she listened to me. Foster care was hell, but through her it became heaven. I am glad to be who I am, and without her I wouldn’t be anything that I am.